Sunday, April 10, 2011

How to lead?

You know those times when everything comes to full emotion and there really isn't anything you can do but be overwhelmed? I had one of those moments today.

Rewind a few weeks and I'm in my car driving home after a long day, work then straight to night class. I would normally have the radio on new talk, but at night after school it's Mark Levine on the radio and he is a bad person, I can't listen to him. He is too mad and has no respect for authority. All that to say that I had the radio on Way-FM. There was this song that they started to play recently that I really liked. I didn't care to pay attention to the lyrics, it was just a great song musically and that is what I focus the most on when listening to music: does it sound good and make me feel good? The song came on briefly, then stopped so Wally, their night time guy, could talk. The song got my attention so I listened to what he had to say. He was talking about the song I liked and what it meant and why the artist wrote it. Sanctus Real sang it? Really? I have a few of their albums, cool, they still make good music.

The song, Lead Me, was written because the guy was married with a family, but he wasn't doing a good job at being a spiritual leader of his family. The song is sung fro. The perspective of the wife and family. They just want to feel secure and have someone to lookup to spiritually.

I know this is probably a big deal for many families and as the dad, I feel that burden to be that leader for my family. But I don't have a great devotional life. I don't have a predictable prayer time. I don't study the Bible for hours. I feel inadequate to effectively lead in this way. I know all this stuff of what I should be doing, I just let life get to me and business sets in. I try, I want to be that guy for my family, I just can't stay consistent anymore than a couple of weeks at a time. That really sucks for me.

One thing Wally emphasized that the song said was that our wives and family aren't looking for us to be perfect. They just want to know we care and are trying. It is still so hard to do for some reason, even with that knowledge. The excuses that come are plentiful and I have found myself listening to them.

A podcast that I listen to very often is Just Thinking and Let My People Think and this last week I listened to the same message through both. Is God trying to tell me something? Well, yeah, that's pretty obvious to me. The message was about Moses and the things he did that helped and contributed to being the man of God he became. The point that stood out to me was how it is so important to have time set aside to par and be with God. I want that, especially to set that example to my family. I don't though, well not consistently.

So this afternoon I had on one of my Pandora stations and the Sanctus Real song came on while we're doing laundry. All I can remember is saying that I really like this song then my attention goes to the lyrics for the first time with purposeful effort. I just started crying. I felt so inadequate and overwhelmed with responsibility. What was I going to do with three kids? So much I have to do, so many good habits I need to form, so many bad ones to lose. What am I going to do?

Well, let's see if can do this early morning thing again. My alarm still goes off early, I've just been hitting snooze for the past couple of weeks. No more. Tomorrow morning it begins... again.

Sanctus Real - “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone


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helena ruiz said...!forum/jack-of-the-net