Trying to make sense

How to lead?

2011-04-10T21:10:00.005-07:00

You know those times when everything comes to full emotion and there really isn't anything you can do but be overwhelmed? I had one of those moments today.

Rewind a few weeks and I'm in my car driving home after a long day, work then straight to night class. I would normally have the radio on new talk, but at night after school it's Mark Levine on the radio and he is a bad person, I can't listen to him. He is too mad and has no respect for authority. All that to say that I had the radio on Way-FM. There was this song that they started to play recently that I really liked. I didn't care to pay attention to the lyrics, it was just a great song musically and that is what I focus the most on when listening to music: does it sound good and make me feel good? The song came on briefly, then stopped so Wally, their night time guy, could talk. The song got my attention so I listened to what he had to say. He was talking about the song I liked and what it meant and why the artist wrote it. Sanctus Real sang it? Really? I have a few of their albums, cool, they still make good music.

The song, Lead Me, was written because the guy was married with a family, but he wasn't doing a good job at being a spiritual leader of his family. The song is sung fro. The perspective of the wife and family. They just want to feel secure and have someone to lookup to spiritually.

I know this is probably a big deal for many families and as the dad, I feel that burden to be that leader for my family. But I don't have a great devotional life. I don't have a predictable prayer time. I don't study the Bible for hours. I feel inadequate to effectively lead in this way. I know all this stuff of what I should be doing, I just let life get to me and business sets in. I try, I want to be that guy for my family, I just can't stay consistent anymore than a couple of weeks at a time. That really sucks for me.

One thing Wally emphasized that the song said was that our wives and family aren't looking for us to be perfect. They just want to know we care and are trying. It is still so hard to do for some reason, even with that knowledge. The excuses that come are plentiful and I have found myself listening to them.

A podcast that I listen to very often is Just Thinking and Let My People Think and this last week I listened to the same message through both. Is God trying to tell me something? Well, yeah, that's pretty obvious to me. The message was about Moses and the things he did that helped and contributed to being the man of God he became. The point that stood out to me was how it is so important to have time set aside to par and be with God. I want that, especially to set that example to my family. I don't though, well not consistently.

So this afternoon I had on one of my Pandora stations and the Sanctus Real song came on while we're doing laundry. All I can remember is saying that I really like this song then my attention goes to the lyrics for the first time with purposeful effort. I just started crying. I felt so inadequate and overwhelmed with responsibility. What was I going to do with three kids? So much I have to do, so many good habits I need to form, so many bad ones to lose. What am I going to do?

Well, let's see if can do this early morning thing again. My alarm still goes off early, I've just been hitting snooze for the past couple of weeks. No more. Tomorrow morning it begins... again.

Sanctus Real - “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Shoes and the Gospel?

2011-04-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

Tuesday was Toms One Day Without Shoes. I was happy to hear this was going on again as I missed last year's event. But why was I happy?

This day meant something different to everyone who participated. I wasn't sure what my purpose was for participating until late at night on Tuesday as I lie in bed thinking about my day.

One thing about yesterday that was really encouraging was that my work encouraged everyone here to participate. It made sense, we work with kids in poverty. Toms gives shoes to kids in poverty who don't have shoes. Toms partners with Compassion to provide shoes to some of the kids in projects we support. It's a beautiful circle of love and care!

Walking around at work and overhearing people's conversations is where I realized not everyone was on the same page with the reason for participating. Well, not on my page.

"Oh, are you kidding me? I'm not walking into the bathroom with out shoes." I heard this many times. I understand, it's not the most ideal place to be bear foot. But don't millions of kids have to walk bear foot through nastier places than this?

I think days like this can be more damaging to me than helpful. Here I am, these judgmental thoughts going through my head and these people I'm comparing myself to are just trying to do something simple to make a difference.

Why do I have the underlying desire to be hipster? Does it go back to high school when I was? Aren't I old enough to not care anymore? Is this just a personality thing? It's probably a bit of all of that, but whatever it is - it's wrong.

I could get all cynical and say the underlying point of the day was for Toms to sell more shoes. But that's good too, because they are a business and they are there to make money. The more money and shoes they make, the more they can give away. While that may be a reason, I believe that was not the main purpose.

Kids have to go without shoes. This is a big deal. We wear shoes, it's normal. We don't wear shoes, people notice, people ask what the deal is. I know I was asked a few times at school yesterday. It's a way to bring awareness by inviting conversation. We are not going out and having PSAs on TV and radio talking about the hazards of not wearing shoes in developing countries. We just don't wear shoes here and people ask.

I went to Twitter yesterday to check some trending topics and about 1/2 of the tweets I saw were asking why #withoutshoes was trending. That is great. Dialog. Awareness. Action.

So did it matter that hundreds of people at Compassion didn't wear shoes? Not really - we were all mostly aware of the plight of children in poverty. We have carpet and just sit at desks all day. Am I judging again? People didn't ask me at work why I didn't have shoes. Did it matter that I didn't wear shoes to school yesterday? Yes. That was where I was asked what was going on. That is where I was able to share the purpose of this cause.

Wait a second. What did I just realize? Being surrounded all day by people who share the same beliefs as you is not a good thing? Aren't we called as Christians to go into the world and make disciples? How do I do that if I am only surrounded by other Christians? I think I just realized I am living in a stupid "Christian bubble" that I always have despised. I am that guy. Oh, good grief - I have some serious

The US Legislature vs Facebook

2010-05-01T09:36:00.005-07:00

I'm going to ignore the obvious issue of our nation still being in an economic slump and millions of Americans are out of work. Let's just pretend today that everything is OK and the members of our Congress and Senate are using their time wisely. I know, HUGE what-if and you may need to borrow some imagination from a 3 year old because that is a big leap in assuming our legislature uses time productively. Anyways, with all that being the case, let's take a look real quick at the new Facebook debate over the privacy issues.

Surprise! Facebook changed their privacy settings again and members need to go into their settings and opt out if they wish. While it would be nice if Facebook sent a message to all users to let them know this feature has been activated, we do not need a law on the books to make such a change.Listen people, the website is free to use for the consumer. You are free to not use it if you feel you are being taken advantage of. Remember what we used to say before Socialism took over our country? There is no such thing as a free lunch. Someone has to pay for me to use Facebook, and it sure as heck isn't going to be me. ABC doesn't charge you to watch Lost. NBC doesn't charge you to watch Biggest Loser. What do all of these companies have in common? Advertising revenue. That is how Facebook stays free.

Now listen, Senator Schumer may have all the best intentions in calling for the FTC to begin to regulate social networking sights (which I believe he does not have pure motives, by the way) (http://news.cnet.com/8301-13577_3-20003415-36.html). That does not excuse him and his colleagues from being dolts and treating the average US citizen with contempt.

Senator, if you are for an opt-in approach to privacy and collection of information, why are you not raising a stink about the US Census? I received my form and read it over. I don't recall anywhere on the form telling us that certain questions were optional. We were not informed that our answers to some questions were voluntary and if we should so choose, to opt-in to answer these extra questions (http://2010.census.gov/2010census/how/interactive-form.php).

Why does the census ask what our names are? Why does it ask for our phone number (to call us if they have questions? really?). I wasn't able to find anything in the actual Constitution that authorized such questions either. What is going on here (http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/constitution_transcript.html)?

Anyways, this can just be one more example of our Legislature being goofs and making laws and complaining about stuff they don't want to do themselves. Oh my oh my...

Goodwill, goodbye

2010-04-30T06:06:00.003-07:00

I am not going to be extreme and crazy saying I will never go to Starbucks again. I can't say that. For one, today is National Honesty Day and saying that would be a lie. We can’t have that! However, I can say that Starbucks has lost me as a regular morning visitor. Once, and every so often, twice, a week I would go to Starbucks before work and pick up a coffee and a breakfast sandwich. A couple months ago I noticed they were serving up a bold coffee each week and I would get a cup of that because I do like to try new coffees. Some were horrid, some were good. So my weekly routine continued throughout these weeks; trying a new coffee, a smile or a shrug, and back to my car and off to work.

This last Sunday I was at Starbucks doing homework and I overheard one of the partners telling a customer about this coffee passport they are doing. I then heard an advertisement on Pandora Radio of the same thing. The combination of these two encounters made me nerdy-happy and I was excited for today’s visit so I could get a coffee passport and work my way through some coffees. The bonus for completing your passport is a free pound of coffee. Why shouldn’t I have been a littler nerdy-happy?

Since I am quite regular at coming, I’ve come used to the (weirdly named) pairing of the tall coffee and breakfast sandwich for $3.95. With my own cup, the total cost is $4.15 and I hand over my (registered, mind you) Starbucks card and just walk away. It is usually around 6:30am so I’m still a bit tired and not all present mentally.

That is my history. The following is my present.

Friday morning and it’s time to give myself my assigned weekly treat, Starbucks for the AM. That’s what I call it. Actually, that is what I just now called it; I’ve never referred to it that way and, come to think of it, probably never will again. So I show up and say hello to the people I see every week and they cordially say hello, making no recognition of my face or that I frequent this location on a regular and predictable basis. I have come to expect such treatment and am not too bothered because I really don’t like small talk. It would be nice to hear a “Nice to see you again,” every now and then though.

/* Begin tangent */
I used to come each Friday morning with my personal Grande tumbler and order a Grande, 2-pump, sugar-free hazelnut, non-fat latte. That is not a typical drink. Months of standing in line and watching other people order and me, as a customer, I would come to recognize regulars that come in about the same time as I do. The partners would acknowledge them and recall their drink for them by name. “Linda, are you getting your tall, vanilla chai today?” “Chris, do you want your Grande, bold coffee this morning?” Boring, normal drinks and they could recall their names and drinks. I am sure you can guess how often did they recalled my drink. Once. (No, I’m not going to exaggerate, remember, this is National Honesty Day.) There were times when I was greeting with a welcoming, knowing smile. But those are far and few between. While I do not wish to have a conversation with everyone I meet, it does go a long way to be acknowledged and that you are more than just a face in the crowd.
/* End tangent */

I order my coffee and sandwich as I normally do and hand over my Starbucks card and decline my receipt. Something pings in the back of my mind, but I’m still not fully awake and my brain may just be remembering something from 3 weeks ago I was trying to remember (that wasn’t it, but it turns out I remembered later what I was trying to remember, those dinosaur fossil roly-poly’s – anyways). I shrugged off that brief poke in my head and asked for one of those coffee passport thingies. He looks at me weird and asks someone else what I was talking about and she tells him they are out. I then proceed to tell them that I heard and advertisement for it just on Sunday. “I’m sorry. This is the last week for doing that, we are now collecting the people’s passports.” Oh, is that so? I just looked at them with a tired, blank look on my face and dully said, “That’s great, it would have been nice if someone would have mentioned it to me. I’ve only been drinking the coffee every week now.” I was offered a non-heartfelt “Sorry.” I herd myself over to the pass-counter and wait for my sandwich to be toasted. While I stand there, I decided that since I can’t do that coffee passport, I don’t want this horrid cup of Sumatra coffee I asked for and requested it be replaced with the normal Pikes Place blend. I have tried to use my skills of sleuth-ness and I have deduced her name is Jo and she is the store manager. She is always kind and was happy to trade out my coffee. (I did find it comical that she asked if it was a tall coffee when it was in their paper cup, not my personal mug.) My sandwich is passed off to me without eye contact or a thank-you, and I’m off to work with drink and food in hand. I get to the doors and that tickle in the back of my mind I ignored earlier had transitioned to a gong in my ear. I turn back and head over to the line that is formed and wait to talk to the fellow who rang me up. To my relief the friendly, probable-manager saw me come back and stand there and she asked me what was up. I told her my remembrance of being charged $5.50 something for my drink and sandwich just a few moments ago and she said they don’t ring up the pairing automatically any longer, unless we specifically request it, and that it was being phased out anyways. Well that is stupid, just stupid. My day that normally starts off as a treat has been reduced to disappointment and sour feelings of lost goodwill I once had.

I will no longer be ordering these breakfast sandwiches. I will no longer be stopping by Starbucks for a regular cup of coffee. I will be reducing my visits to special treats with the wife and daughter and a once a month, aforementioned, special latte. This kind of sucks for me too, because I really enjoyed going in the mornings, but I am going to be voicing my opinion and voting for change with my wallet.

I’m sorry, Starbucks, but you have lost a lot of my goodwill towards your company.

Linear Programming

2010-03-31T18:46:00.002-07:00

How important is it that I actually finish this problem? It is only 1 question of my homework assignment.

Problem 3.42

South Central Utilities has just announced the August 1 opening of its second nuclear generator at its Baton Rouge, LA nuclear power plant. Its personnel department has been directed to determine how many nuclear technicians need to be hired and trained over the remainder of the year.

The plant currently employs 350 fully trained technicians and projects the following personnel needs:

Month - Personnel hours needed

---------------------------------

August - 40,000

September - 45,000

October - 35,000

November - 50,000

December - 45,000

By Louisiana law, a reactor employee can actually work no more than 130 hours per month. (Slightly over 1 hour per day is used for check-in and check-out, record keeping, and daily radiation health scans.) Policy at South Central Utilities also dictates that layoffs are not acceptable in those months when the nuclear plan is overstaffed. So, if more trained employees are available than are needed in any month, each worker is still fully paid, even though he or she is not required to work the 130 hours.

Training new employees is an important and costly procedure. It takes one month of one-on-one classroom instruction before a new technician is permitted to work alone in the reactor facility. Therefore, South Central must hire trainees one month before they are actually needed. Each trainee teams up with a skilled nuclear technician and requires 90 hours of the employee's time, meaning that 90 hours less of the technician's time are available that month for actual work.

Personnel department records indicate a turnover rate of trained technicians at 2% per month. In other words, 2% of the skilled technicians at the start of any month resign by the end of that month. A trained technician earns a monthly salary of $4,500 while trainees are paid $2,000 during their one month instruction.

Formulate this staffing problem using LP and solve it by using Excel.

Coffee Taste Test

2009-11-17T12:09:00.002-07:00

Starbucks VIA vs Taster's Choice
instant coffee showdown

It started off simple enough. I thought, I need to write a new blog. I then thought. I don't have time to write about important stuff like government and philosophy, so why not write about coffee. I like me some coffee. About a month ago, Starbucks launched their instant coffee, VIA Ready Brew to much skepticism and ugly looks. We of course only talked about it behind their back because it's easier than saying it to their face.

Anyways, each time I've been to Starbucks this past month, they have been giving away samples of VIA so I get one each time I'm there and hoard them at my desk here at work for emergency. Some crazy person brought in a sampler pack of the Taster's Choice and left it in the break room to share so I took it upon myself to pick up the one that said "100% Colombian". Why that one and not the hazelnut one flavor? Well, I did take that one too - but now I have the two brands featuring their 'Colombian' brews. (Just a side note, coffee noobs think Colombian coffee is the best - it's not)

Of course this experiment needed to be scientific, similar to the taste tests Starbucks did when they rolled out the VIA in their stores. There big push was that you can't tell the difference between the instant coffee and their brewed coffee. I was able to tell at each of the 3 tests I did because I'm, well you know. So how do I be scientific? I used filtered water, two cups, boiling hot water, and a Jill to prepare the two cups. I gave her directions and left while she prepared the mix of granulated coffee crystals. Taste away!

My delicate palate began the task of deciphering the code of what cup belongs to which wrapper. At first, with the piping hot water and freshly prepared brown water, I was not able to tell the difference. Amazing, I thought to myself. What a topsy-turvey world we live in where foreign national terrorists are awarded the same Constitutional rights as an American citizen and that Starbucks instant coffee tastes like Taster's Choice. Oh, but all I needed was about 2 minutes and my shock would be diminished to less than awe. Once the coffees cooled down a bit I could tell a significant different betwix the 'bux and the poop. The once smooth finish and easy taste that was the Taster's Choice brand turned to bitter and acidic when it cooled down. Granted, so did the VIA, but not nearly as quick and not nearly as strong a change also. With this new flavor mix discovered, I made my hypothosis and submitted it to the authorities. Starbucks in the Pinecreek Dental mug, Taster's Choice in the Kindness mug.

"Right on", says Jill. I'm can't be fooled. What else do you have for me Starbucks?

Haiti Trip: Day 1

2009-09-23T07:09:00.006-07:00

We arrived at the Port au Prince airport around 9:30 and sailed through customs and immigration. It helps being a large group of white people arriving in a country with no tourism business. They were happy to see us and we got passed along right away. Outside as we walked towards our bus a man just walked up and took Ester's bag to help her carry it. She wasn't very happy about that and everyone knew something was happening out of the ordinary when she said, “Excuse me!” very loudly. He let go and we piled all of our luggage onto the top of the bus.

Our first official stop was the Compassion Haiti main office, but we took a detour and headed up to a vantage point that over looked the entire city. It was beautiful up there. The country is much more green and pretty than all of us expected. The driving is a lot worse than I expected too. My expectations where shot to shreds. We didn't have guards that toted around M-16s, we had one or two guards that were huge, but they just had a handgun tucked away in their pants.

We were taken on a brief driving tour of the city too and went to a mausoleum converted to a museum featuring the countries history. It was really interesting to me and it was good to hear the many guides talk with such pride of their history. There were two things at this museum that I was really amazed by. The first was the actual anchor from the Santa Maria (one of Christopher Columbus' ship). The second was an actual crown of one of the first kings of Haiti. I'd never seen an actual crown. Of course it was encased and not touchable, but it was right there. Solid gold with four different precious stones and diamonds along all of the crown.

At the Compassion office we were able to meet a bunch of the staff and learn about the Compassion programs from their perspective. From the letters to finances to the people who oversee the projects, it was all run with pride and excellence. It brought a new perspective to my job and what I do. The office is located in the middle of the city and just like the CDSPs, the office is gated and secure. They have a small computer lab and resource books available to the LDP students in the city who need to use the computer for class work.

After our visit and tour of the country office we were off to our hotel, Hotel Karibe for showers, dinner, swimming and relaxing before we start day two. We were joined for dinner by the Country Management Team and I sat with the country director. He shared his story with us and how God called him to be at Compassion and why he chooses to stay in Haiti rather than take his skills and move away like so many business people do.

Food
Breakfast – Burger King in the Airport
Lunch – Goat and plantains
Dinner – Chicken, goat and rice

Flickr Photo Album

The cost of $29.81?

2009-04-09T08:34:00.003-07:00

Dear Congress,

I just wanted to write to let you know I received and extra $29.81 in my paycheck today. I wanted to thank you for the free money* that I will be using to do exactly the opposite you had intended when you passed the bill. Last time we got free money* it was in a big check that I also didn't spend how you intended it. But at least last year I had the option of buying some big ticket item. This year, I certainly won't be saving this money each month to buy a big ticket item. I mean, that would be stupid. Why save our money, right? That's why we have credit. Actually, in stead of spending the money on crap, we are going to be using this free money* to pay down our credit so we will in turn, have more discretionary income to spend on crap in the future.

So, anyways, I also wanted to thank you for screwing up my OCD creation. I like working with numbers so I had my paycheck figured out to be putting an even dollar amount into my checking account every other week. Nice and smooth. But now, here you come along with your free money* and feel good policies and screw it all up! Now I have change being deposited into my account. Change is freaking annoying! Let's talk this out, OK? I'm no economist, so I don't have actual valuations on these figures, but we can imagine.

You make this law giving abouts $400 extra per year. How much extra, unneccesary work have you created for the HR and payroll deptartments of America now? All the extra time and energy expensed to communicate the changes, the extra paperwork generated by the awesome people like me who value even, round numbers who will be changing their withholding inforation to even this out again. And then again once you stop giving us our free money*. Oh, not to mention the wasted time writing and reading this complaint letter! Jeebers!

I loathe what our elected officials have been doing. It seems, at least here in Colordo Springs, that people are waking up and doing stuff to stop wasteful spending. The Jobs Now (1A on the recent spring ballot) was majorly rejected 2 to 1. We are having a TEA party (http://www.teapartyday.com/) here also, which I plan to attend.

* no such thing as free money. Ever. In any circumstance. Ever. Ever ever ever ever......

Brett, Starbucks & Instant Coffee

2009-03-24T10:39:00.003-07:00

How to drink the new
Starbucks VIA
instant coffee in 7 easy steps

Step One
Fill your favorite cup up with hot water.

Step Two
Grab one packet of Via for every 8 oz. of water you put in your favorite cup.

Step Three
Pour contents of packet(s) into hot water in your favorite cup.

Step Four
Notice globs of the powdered coffee floating on the water you put in your favorite cup. Stir.

Step Five
Drink from your favorite cup. Be careful, it's hot!

Step Six
Gag at the thought of what you're drinking being careful not to drop your favorite cup.

Step Seven
Realize it isn't that bad for instant coffee from your favorite cup, but know you will never pay for it. Seriously. A French press only take 4 minutes. If you can't wait 4 minutes for a good cup of coffee...

National TEA Party Day

2009-03-20T07:23:00.004-07:00

Fittingly, this will be on April 15. http://www.teapartyday.com/

You should make plans to attend your local protest. You can find the times and location on the website.

Are you mad as hell? I'm so mad I don't know what to do with myself. What do I do? Listen to my iPod and become disengaged. Easiest solution becomes the worst possible solution. My apathy, your apathy, all of our apathy over the past 8 - 12 years has caused us to reach this point. It's hard to fight back. It's hard to know what to do. I'm reminded of our Nation's beginnings and a cliche phrase tossed around every so often - but it rings very true.

FREEDOM ISN'T FREE

Thank God, we don't have to fight for it in the traditional sense with guns and war like so many countries are still doing, but we have to fight to keep our freedoms. Fight with politics. Policy. Outcry. Being mad as hell!

It will certainly be inconvenient for me, as well as thousands of others, to show up downtown for this rally, but freedom requires sacrifice. And I'm so glad the sacrifice is only a few hours away from work and not my life or limbs!

These protest ascend above party lines. This is not a Republican vs Democrat protest. The Republicans are just as guilty as the Democrats - if not more! This is a time to be united against waste beyond waste. Spending in a way that cannot be fathomed. Power hungry and corrupt politicians need to be called out and ousted. They are there to serve us. They are elected to represent us. The politicians need to be held accountable.

All this crap talk about AIG and the bonuses? Why are we getting mad at AIG for doing what they are allowed to do? We should be pissed at the politicians who voted for the bill that allowed AIG to spend the money we gave them this way. They are doing nothing wrong. It's the Congress that we need to be mad at.

NY TEA Party
Cincinnati TEA Party

Colorado will get domestic partnership health benefits?

2009-02-24T08:32:00.004-07:00

You're gay. So what.
Really. Isn't that the stance we should take as "Christians"? We don't want to be called hypocrites, so why not treat this "evil, evil abomination sin of homosexuality" the same as we would treat anyone else who sins? You lied? Oh, hhmm, shame on you. You cheated and lied? Hhmm, why not control our Treasury Dept.? (baa-ZING!)

I was just really annoyed this morning on the way into work because on the radio they were talking of a bill going through the Colorado legislature allowing gay couples who are state employees to extend health benefits to their partners. We won't allow them to be married (I can agree with that), but we allow domestic partnerships, so shouldn't we give them health benefits? It's one or the other. Not like marriage is held 'sacred' here in Colorado (Common Law Marriage)

The argument against this is what made me mad - because it's the jackholes like this who make people hate Christians. Some schmo Representative, from Greeley, CO I believe was saying we shouldn't condone this behavior and quoted a verse from the Old Testament saying people caught in homosexual relationships should be put to death. Is this guy serious? Yeah, he probably is. (He is probably also harboring gay tenancies too, that's why he is speaking out so harshly against it. Can you say Ted Haggard?)

Well Mr. Senator, or whatever you are, the Law also calls for people to be put to death for all the following reasons:

If you are caught working on the Sabbath (Exodus 35:2)
If you kill someone else (Exodus 21:12)
If your animal kills someone (Exodus 21:29)
If you attack your parents (Exodus 21:15), if you curse your parents (Exodus 21:17)
If you kidnap someone (Exodus 21:16)
If you sex it up with an animal (Exodus 22:19)

I'm sure you would agree that we should just go ahead and enact these laws and just rid ourselves of 90% the population of Colorado, probably 95% of our prison population, and lets estimate 30% of the internet porn websites (that would actually be a good thing) and every restaurant and their employees (except for Chick-Fil-A - they shall be sparred).

See where we are going you poop head! Oh, I found this guy's name Sen. Scott Renfroe from Greeley, CO. You can't pick and choose what 'laws' of the Bible you want to follow. God hates all sin. God hates hate and judgment. You are just as likely to go to Hell for being a politician or defense lawyer as you are for being gay. God doesn't discriminate with what separates people from a full life with His presence. We are to love people and not point out their faults.

We are not to accept as OK behavior any sins though. We are to strive to be like Jesus. That means focus on how we can make ourselves more into His image, not pointing out how others are failing.

RZIM :: Makeing people think

2009-02-19T12:56:00.002-07:00

This Thursday morning, there was a short conference at Woodmen Valley Chapel for "Engaging Today's Culture" by RZIM. Ravi Zacharias and Stuart McAlister we the speakers.

Me and Ravi Zacharias

I've been listening to Dr. Zacharias for about a year now through his weekly podcast, Let My People Think. About 4 months ago I decided to start to read his books. He is so very deep but also very relevant and understandable at the same time. He speaks on philosophy and apologetics, really makes you think and challenges you.

When I was told about today's conference, I wasn't sure what to expect when I came. I'd never been to this church and also didn't know what size crowd there would be. I was surprised at the size of the crowd. I would estimate about 500 people here. That made me happy to see so many people wanting to learn. The most shocking thing I noticed was the amount of young people there! Young like high school and college. Something they mentioned in their talk reflected the amount of younger people there. With all of the post-modernism being forced upon us these past many years, we are starting to see the effects of it. We no longer believe 'whatever' is the answer. We are looking for truth, and we are looking for someone to tell us what the Truth is.

Me and Stuart McAlister

One statement that stood out to me was a question Dr. Zacharias posed to a journalist who was about to interview him. He said that over the past many decades in the schools and universities we've been teaching our students and children that there is no real truth. Do what you feel is best, what is the truth to you. Make your own truth, there is no absolutes. Then when these students graduate and become the CEOs and leaders of our Enrons and financial institutions and they do what they feel is right and OK, we throw them in jail. Is this right? Should we not also throw their professors in jail also?

Very well stated by him, very poorly restated by me, but I think you can see the point he was tring to make.

I was so happy to get to go today. I know I learned a lot, but I'm not able to articulate it just yet.

I'm not Constitutional Scholar, but...

2009-02-13T07:46:00.003-07:00

There are just a few things that I don't understand about our government. If I go back to my civics lessons in school I remember 3 branches of government. I'm just going to talk out loud to myself here, see if writing this out makes more sense. Perhaps someone has the same questions I do and hope they can get answered.

Judicial - This branch is in place to interpret the laws already in place.
Executive - This branch is in place to enforce the laws that are already in place.
Legislative - This branch is in place to create the laws that the Executive and Judicial branches draw power from.

I wonder if I need to join some sort of Constitutional political party. Maybe I just need to reread it to be sure I know what it says. Goodness, who knows if there was some sneaky amendment added to it in this most recent "stimulus" bill. But states have to ratify amendments.... You know what - I'm going to read the Constitution again. (http://www.house.gov/house/Constitution/Constitution.html) Ironic that the House has the Constitution on it's website.

Anyways, something that has got me is why does Congress always do these 'congressional investigations'? The 9/11 commission, the MLB steroid deal, Jack Bauer from 24 just to name a few. If there was to be an investigation shouldn't the Justice Dept. be doing this? Can Congress prosecute someone? Not to mention, don't we have a lot of other pressing matters to attend to besides making sure no baseball players are taking drugs?! Is that really the job of Congress? The media has a better responsibility for this.

I don' t get it, just trying to make sense

What to write about?

2009-01-28T07:12:00.002-07:00

I have so many thoughts going through my head about what to write about. These thoughts come when I am no where near a computer, or have time to write. So I forget what I was going to talk about. I need some ideas. I don't know how many people read this, but there are at least two. Oh, plus me. Do you read your own blog? No, I guess I don't go back and read it. Just read it as I type it. That doesn't count.

So, if anyone has ideas of what to write about leave a comment. I have the itch, just nothing to itch. You know? Like when the bottom of your foot has that itch, but you have your shoe on and no matter how hard or what angle you stomp your foot on the ground you can't get that little tickle to go away.

The Goodlin plan for economic recovery.

2009-01-20T13:55:00.005-07:00

First off, I must say I am against the government bail outs. I don't agree with it. However, since the bills have passed and we have, what $500 billion available to spend still, here is my proposed idea how to spend that money to fix the economy.

The What
What does this country need? Well, no. What can we use, that we really don't need right now, but we can still build? How about a good high-speed rail system? Is not the technology here for train that can go just as fast as an airplane?

The Why
Why do we need this? Face it, gas is going to back to ridiculous. Airlines are going bankrupt left and right and nickle and dime-ing there customers. Don't cars and airplanes produce abhorrent amounts of the global warming compound gingivitis? (Wait, no. I'm confusing this with a Listerine commercial) We're talking about crazy amounts of CO2, Carbon Dioxide. Don't we want to decrease this? Isn't that what those crazy environmentalist want to do? What better way to reduce our output as well as create jobs upon job. You've taken a Greyhound? Good, don't. They are scary. You taken the Amtrak? It's not too bad, it just takes twice as long as driving. We need something that "Work it, make it, do it, Makes us harder, better, faster, stronger!"

The History
Did we need Hoover Dam? Probably not. Did we need dog catchers? Well, probably. Did we need brick roads? Not really. Were all of these thing useful though at the time, and even today? Yes. I'm suggesting a "NEWEST DEAL". Similar to Roosevelt's New Deal from the Great Depression, my "NEWEST DEAL" (tm) will create hundreds of thousands, if not millions of jobs. It worked in the past and it seems we are approaching a similar point in history. Do we really need a high-speed rail system. No. But we didn't really need a giant dam in the middle of the desert, but we have it and it's useful to us now.

The Money
So, there is $350 billion still out there for the Obama administration to toy around with. You know it's going to grow to at least $500 billion, if not larger. So, take the $500 billion and let's do some math. How many people that are unemployed could be employed in this national building project? Heaps, for sure, and money is a motivator. I saw a stupid overpass erected in the middle of Omaha in 2 years. Government money funded it, and a strict timetable and a reward of financial bonuses for timely and early completion knocked that project out right quick! So how much money are we looking at? Generously I'll go with 2 million people on this project. That leaves $125,000 for each person for two years.

The Opposition
So, as amazingly awesome my plan is, it will never pass. Why? Not because I didn't go a good job elaborating or having solid stats. Those can be figured out in the actual planning stages. It won't ever come about because of Big Oil, the Auto and Airline industries. Big Oil will lobby against this because it will cause people to use less fuel. The Auto industry will just use the bailout money we gave them to lobby against this plan. The Airline industry will be losing business on this as well and will add a 'high-speed rail surcharge' to each ticket to pay for a lobbying effort against. There will be lawsuits over the land acquisition. Then you have the problem with terrorism. How do we protect the rails? Oh and the poor antelope that will get smashed to bits when they get smashed by the train as it goes barreling through Kansas.

I just amaze myself at how I can come up with such a brilliant plan and at the same time talk myself out of why it won't work. I'm obviously not an inventor.

Excuse me? You want to do cut part of my penis off?

2009-01-14T07:46:00.006-07:00

So go back with me a few thousand years. We're working for Abram (Abraham). Let's say my name is Ush and you are Zakalakatosh. Common names for that time period. We are out in the field one day herding the goats back to the pins when another servant runs up to us and tells us we need to get back to camp right quick, Abram has something to tell us.

Once we get back and secure the goats we head to the big tent for this meeting that was called so urgently. Mixed emotions are floating around the servants because they don't know exactly what the deal is. Finally Abram gets word that we are all here and he gets up to make an announcement.

"Friends, servants, slaves,
I've called you all here today because God told me he is going to bless me and make my household, which you are a part of, into a great nation! He said he will provide me a child to carry on my name, even at my old age and His blessing will be on my son. Also, God told me all of us guys need to cut a piece of our penis off"

At that point in the meeting, what do you think was going on? What were the conversations like. How long did it take for order to be restored? "Oh, is that all we need to do so you can be blessed?" "He said we need to do what?!" "Ain't nobody touching my junk with a jaged knife!" {snickers} {laughter} {gasps}

If someone says something crazy these days, we just laugh and call them crazy or something.

Just put yourself back into the Bible times and run through some of the stories it tells. There are some HILARIOUS situations that have happened if you think about it. The Bible is anything but boring.

Here is a brief history of the ouchness : http://www.cirp.org/library/history/dunsmuir1/

10th grade short stories : "Pork Soda"

2009-01-14T07:19:00.001-07:00

I was going through some old boxes and came across my 10th grade English portfolio. For some reason I saved all my short stories I wrote. The year was 1996 & 1997. These stories are both ridiculous, incoherent and slightly dark. As with my 9th Grade English Portfolio writings, I'm just going to transcribe these as I wrote and turned them in, spelling and grammar errors all. It seems this particular paper was a book report on the popular book Animal Farm, with a reference to Primus as the title hints at.

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December 15, 1996
Pork Soda

Who is George Orwell? Where does this brilliant mind come from? Actually there is no such person named George Orwell. George Orwell is a pen name for Eric Blair. He was born in India in 1903 into a fairly wealthy family. Animal Farm is a fable about animals that rebel against their human masters and take over. This is an excellent parallel to the Russian Revolution. The three leaders of Animal Farm, Squealer, Napolean, and Snowball are essentially different.

One reason Squealer is essentially different is because he uses language to manipulate the common animals. "A bird's wing, comrades," he said, "is an organ of propulsion and not of manipulation. It should therefore be regarded as a leg. The distinguishing mark of a man is the hand, the instrument with which he does all his mischief." (pg. 41) In this quote, Squealer is trying to convince the birds that the wing is considered a leg. The reason for this is because the animals have a saying of four legs good, two legs bad. And since a bird has only two legs they become upset. This is when Squealer comes up with the idea that the hand of man is mean to cause mischief, a birds wing is an organ of "propulsion". "Many of us actually dislike milk and apples. I dislike them myself. Our role object in taking these things is to preserve our health. Milk and apples (this has been proven by science, comrades) contain substances absolutely necessary to the well-being of a pig." (pg. 42) In this quote Squealer is taking advantage of teh common animals by telling them that the missing food is necessary for them to have because pigs are in need of them in order to do the things needed to stay healthy and in charge. Because the animals are naive and unsure, once again Squealer has manipulated them with language.

As Squealer had differences from Napolean and Snowball; so does Napolean have differences from Squealer and Snowball. Napolean used brute force of other animals to control them. "At this, nine enormous dogs came bounding into the barn. They dashed straight toward Snowball who sprang away just in time to escape their snapping jaws. In amount he was out in the thirst for power."(pg. 57) Napolean knew that since Snowball was a better speaker and Snowball would eventually be leader he had to kick out Snowball in order to satisfy Napolean's thirst for power. "Napolean now rolled upon them to confess their crimes after they confessed, the dogs tore their throats out, after Napolean asked any others wanted to confess. In the end over eleven animals were killed." (pg. 82) Napolean was so determined to keep this power he killed anyone who objected even slightly to what he though.

Snowball was more for equality among animals and for their overall well-being. "Snowball drew up plans to build a windmill. Which would increase their food supply and give them less work in the long run." (pg. 54) This shows Snowball did care about the well-being of the animals by building a windmill. "Snowball read it aloud for the benefit of the others. All the animals nodded in complete agreement, and the cleverer ones at once began ot learn the Commandments by heart." (pg. 33) This quote shows that he wanted the animals to have faith in the farm and believe that in order to succeed they must not try to be like humans. He also read the Commandments aloud so the animals that could not read would understand what the farm was to stand for and what they believe in.

In each point, we have tried to point out the differences between Snowball, Napolean, and Squealer. In order to successfully run the farm, they each had their own leadership differences. They did this by showing that they cared for the well-being of the farm, being power hungry, or manipulating common animals by speaking. The three leaders of animal farm, Squealer, Napolean, and Snowball are essentially different.
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Interesting book report. I guess this was more of a character review. Lots of contrasting the characters and repeating a lot of the quotes to fill enough space to make this a 2 page report. This wasn't as fun of a writing as I would have thought it would have been from seeing the title. I let myself down! And this is the last story in my folder.

I should write more dumb stories. Send your suggestions to my email, I'll see what I can put together.

10th grade short stories : "A Day at the Beach"

2009-01-13T07:39:00.001-07:00

May 19, 1997
A DAY AT THE BEACH

Their family trip this year would be to San Diego. Heather McDoyle could not wait. She had never seen the ocean before and had many questions. So many, her parents, Jessica and Ed, just stopped answering them. She had just turned 16 and for her birthday present they let her take a friend. I almost did not believer her when she asked me to go. We had a whole week to spend at the beach soon but no clothes.

On the Saturday before the trip we went to the mall. We found the cutest bathing suits and outfits for the beach. But the shoes she got; they were the ugliest thing I had ever seen! Black with florescent green straps. I urged her to not get them and threatened even no to go, but she insisted on getting them. Oh well, I thought, everyone has their own style.

Once we were in San Diego, we went straight from our hotel, with out unpacking, to the beach. It was almost 12:00 and we figured the beach would soon be packed so we did not wait for her parents. Off we went, two young girls driving around in a rented convertible in a foreign city, almost begging for trouble. We did have to stop for directions at a gas station. The attendant there kept staring at us, it was very dirty! After we got the directions from the "Mr. Sex Offender" we were on our way again, with must haste.

At the beach, we found our spot and sat down for a moment to take in our new domain. Water as far as you could see; sand and people to each side for miles. Just as we were about to head out to the water, some guy steps in front of us. He was so cute! I heard Heather gasp in what I thought was fright but soon realized to be her sign of approval. He reached down to us with his arms and helped us to our feet. He introduced himself as Jeff as Heather introduced us simultaneously. He went with us into the water and he and Heather talked vigorously as the salty breeze sprayed wisps of water into there mouths. I told them I was going to go lie out. They joined me shortly. I was amazed how quickly they hit it off. At about four in the afternoon he invited us to a party at his friends. I was a little bit hesitant but Heather convinced me right away it would be OK. I went ahead and paged her mom to give her and idea of what time we would be back.

About an hour into the party, out came the pot and bear; I knew something like this would have happened. I really did not want to look like some "goody-goody" so I drank a beer or two. Some one also passed me a joint later so I went ahead and took a hit. Heather was quite the life of the party, drinking everything offered to her and taking all dares that were bestowed upon her. I was embarrassed. She was wasted in about 30 minutes, I may have even been a little drunk because I don't remember much until someone comes out of a bedroom with Heather riding piggy back screaming nonessential gibberish. All eyes were on them now and they stopped laughing, looked at everyone cautiously, then fell down. No one did anything, they just sort of snorted and went back to what they were doing before. Since no one else seemed to care, I stumbled over to them at shook her. No response. I shook the guy she was with. No response. I did not know what to do so I staggered into the kitchen and called for an ambulance.

Her mom and dad, I could tell were very mad underneath their uncontrollable fright. The doctor said she was a lucky girl. She apparently had an overdose of heroin. I was told that if I had not called when I did, she would have surely died. That made me sick. If I did not let her got to the party none of that would have happened at all. She was in the I.C.U. unit for 3 months in a comma. If she had not have waken up, I do not think I would be here today telling you this. I think as a type of punishment, her parents gave me her sandals she was wearing that day, those ugly sandals I despised! Now that i think about it, I am glad that they made me take them. It was a sharp reminder of a terrible mistake i made and constant reminder not to do it again.

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I got a 77% on this paper. Not my best score. I guess this was my attempt at a PSA, stay away from the drugs and alcohol kids, look what can happen! I don't know anyone in my class who went to a party with some random guy or girl they met at the beach after reading my story. So compelling! ;-P

Now playing: Asteria - A Lesson In Charades
via FoxyTunes

10th grade short stories : District Writing Analysis

2009-01-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

I was going through some old boxes and came across my 10th grade English portfolio. For some reason I saved all my short stories I wrote. The year was 1996 & 1997. These stories are both ridiculous, incoherent and slightly dark. As with my 9th Grade English Portfolio writings, I'm just going to transcribe these as I wrote and turned them in, spelling and grammar errors all. This was an 'official' type of short story that was used to group my school into a certain category. With my help, they probably scored really low this year.

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I used to be addicted to powdered milk. Day in and day out thats all I lived for. I would drink it for breakfast, lunch, diner, even if I had steak, I would drink it. It took a great disaster, eight years, and $12 million later to get me off that dasterly adiction. Here, fellow woodchucks, is how it went.

I was 14, and just like any other curious teenager, when I was introduced to powdered milk, or as we called it to hide its identity from the naive older generation, "Dawa", I tried it. I thought it was very cool. But little did I know the snare I was trapping myself in.

This inclination of mine became overbearing. I couldn't get enough of that sweet, suddle milky flavor. I knew I had a problem but I was too proud to admit my foley. Finally, one of my friends Great Scott II, made me see a doctor. He barged into my room and walked towards me, eyes glowing with fire. He had a devilish smirk on his face and a look that reminded me of a mother bear protecting her cubs. I froze in terror as he pulled a teflon® coated, cast iron skillet out of his pocket. The next thing I remembered was a big bright light and a deep, powerful voice.

"Come here!" boomed the voice.
I stagered forward towards the sorce of my intimidation. "Y-yes" I chocked out.
"Why are you here?" the voice echoed.
"My friend beat my ass" I stated as my fear began to peter away.
"No! Why are you here? You drink too much powdered milk"
"I uh-err, so?" this guy started to bug me.
"You, my friend, are dead" the voice said.
"Hmm" I mutered, perposly being a smart allec.
"I will let you live again," he paused,"if you give up powdered milk"
I wake up with one hell of a head ache and in some shrinks office. A warm soothing voice greets me.

"Aahh, your awake Mr. Dark"
"Where am I?" I questioned
"I am Dr. Otto Van Scratchendelsniffunmire. This is my office" he replied
"Why am I here?"
"Your friend, uh should I say dragged you in" he snickered at his pathedic attempt to pun.
"Well sir, I don't like it" I said. "I'm better now, I know to not ask my country to do for me, but to ask for fresh, bottled milk."
"Very good, mr Dar, I see my hypnotism has worked" he boasted

That brings us to today. I haven't touched, smelled, licked, or even seen powdered milk since. Just cool, fresh, does the body good, liquid milk. I don't know about you but those milk comercials get me all excited. Got Milk?
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Two words: stupid, dumb.

I can see see some bad spelling errors, references to the Animaniacs and Ren & Stimpy show also.

10th grade short stories : "These People Are Stupid!"

2009-01-08T14:02:00.002-07:00

THESE PEOPLE ARE STUPID!

Behind her in the living room, someone cleared his throat. Lavina froze in pure terror. Someone was in her house intruding on her personal space, that bastard! She started to whimper as she heard the creak of the floor and heavy footsteps get closer. Lavina let out a quiet gasp as she felt a strong hand clasp onto her shoulder. The intruder began to breath into her hair. she didn't move. The intruder began to snicker, a wicked, mocking laughter. As he began to turn Lavina around to face him she exploded in a burst of rage. Grabbing a hold of his right wrist with her left hand she twisted in a full revolution. A loud crack followed and the sigh of the newly formed compound fractures almost made Lavina vomit right there. Somehow she held it in and managed to shove the man back. In a daze from all the pain the wobbled back and tripped over her coffee table, his head collided with the hard oak floor. Lavina, taking advanced to his disposition ran toward the kitchen.

Once in she barely had time to get outy a good knife when teh man passed through the kitchen entrance. "Leave me alone" Lavina screamed, blinded with hate and terror. She swung her arm laden with knife in the intruder's direction. A warm, sticky liquid sprayed all over Lavina's face and splatterd all over her kitchen. A faint whisper escaped teh man's mouth as he fell to the floor in a crumpled heap of now dead flesh. Still in her blind rage she stabbed him in the back a few times, rolled him over and plunged the knife into his chest and face to assure herself he was dead.

Later that night as the police were questioning Lavina and the medics were carrying out a body bag, Frank Dillon came into the house. He asked what all happened. It was explained and a devilish smirk spread across his face. He started to chuckle, this annoyed the Constable and Lavina.

"This is no laughing matter, Frank!", Lavina blurted.
"Yes, if I may, I would like to ask you to leave this instant", the police man demanded.

Now Frank was cackling, and evil, demonic cackle. Suddenly he stopped. "You stupid, stupid people!", he started to say sympathetically, "you really think this man was the Lonely One? His name was Chris Berming, I sent him to make sure you were tied up when I arrived."

"So, so he w-wasn't the L-lonel One?", Lavina stuttered out.
"No, I am". With that Frank reached into his trench coat and pulled out a tommy gun. Laughing wickedly he unloaded on Lavina and the cop. The deafening noise from the active gun made the other police and the onlookers to start to panic. Frank ran to the front door and shot at everyone. The yall fell to the ground, freshly moistened with dew. Now everyone knew who teh Lonely One was, but on one as alive to tell.

THE END

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Nice story, huh? A nice mix of stupid writing and "WTW was he thinking". Goodness. No wonder I liked to read James Patterson's books. I'm glad I never ended up going crazy loony, because who knows what this brain of mine would think to do.

10th grade short stories : "One Day"

2008-12-31T13:53:00.004-07:00

I was going through some old boxes and came across my 10th grade English portfolio. For some reason I saved all my short stories I wrote. The year was 1996 & 1997. These stories are both ridiculous, incoherent and slightly dark. As with my 9th Grade English Portfolio writings, I'm just going to transcribe these as I wrote and turned them in, spelling and grammar errors all.

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Score : 44 / 50
Date : October 3, 1996

One Day

ONE DAY I FELL off my bike. It hurt. After careful consideration I got back onto that inevitable disaster. Down my driveway I went. "Wow! This is fun," I thought to myself a little bit premature. *{BOOM}* I crashed again. Ouchie! Well needless to say I got back on ye' ol' bike. After about a week of scratched hands and scrapped knees, I was able to ride the bike.

NOW A NEW challenge was at hand. I had seen on T.V. how the people in the Tour de France. Him being a year older he was able to ride without holding on, I figured it came with age. I asked him how he does it. He told me just keep trying, and your balance will come. Easy enough? Not quite.

THE FIRST COUPLE of attempts should not really even count as an attempt because it wasn't even a second before I grabbed the handle bars as if my life depended on it. A day went by of my occasionally falling and my friend scoffing me to finally coast without hands. But now Greg, my friend, told me to try it without hands and peddle. Wow! No way too easy, why couldn't he do it? It was my chance to show him up so off I went. Up the street and back down to gain speed I went. When I was right in front of him I released the handle bars and started to pump my feet. One revolution and i was on my side in the middle of the street. An extreme shock of pain shot through my body. Greg's torturous laughter enhanced the pain to an atrocious level.

LATER THAT NIGHT after the damage was mended my mom came up to my room. She had some chicken noodle soup! Suave! (Not Rico). I never did try to ride my bike that way again, what was the point? All I needed to was the difference between rice pudding and boogers. No one eats rice pudding. rode without holding on some of the time. That was jazzy! I told my mom I would be outside, ride my bike of course. Just my luck my friend up the street was outside on his bike

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Ha, what a dumb story. And a total lie. I don't remember doing that, and I know for sure that I was able to ride with no hands before I had moved to Omaha. What's with the capitalized words at the beginning of each paragraph? What nonsense.

Why I won't go to 7-11

2008-12-31T08:10:00.003-07:00

Dirty. Flavorless. Stingy. Overpriced. Rude.

Just a few adjectives to describe 7-11. Their slogan is "oh thank heaven!" For what? Does anyone think that when they see a 7-11? So where does this seemingly new-found disdain come from? It ended this morning from a culmination of experiences.

Stupid breakfast that caused a problem

Experience : I had a coupon for a free donut. Yum. I stopped by there on my way to work this morning. I thought I would try a cup of the coffee too. Coffee and donut. Healthy. (I mean, I did use my Wii Fit last night and we had no milk in the house to eat my cereal with and water does not go well with Cheerios. I've tried it before.) So walk over the to coffee area and poured a 16oz cup from one of those glass coffee jars they use at nasty diners. No prices listed so I'm guessing around a buck at the most for this crap. Well I get to the register with my watered down coffee and glazed donut. I pass my coupon to the lady and she informs me of my total: $1.60. I just smile at her and say, "excuse me?". $1.60 seems to be what she said the second time, but she didn't smile. I looked at the screen and it says the donut was $.99 and the coffee was $1.39. The coupon was listed as -$.79. That's odd, I wouldn't have thought a coupon that says "FREE" meant "$.20". She seemed to think so. Now the coupon didn't say "Free, up to $.XX amount" like some coupons. It just said "Free". I know this because I still have a coupon to reference. Anyways, the lady says, "That's what the computer took off when I scanned the coupon, I can't change that." Ha, yes you can. I told her I only have a $1.50 in change that I scrounged for in the car. I brought the $1.50 in just in case, but I was quite confident the coffee wouldn't be nearly that expensive. She glared at me and just took the $1.50 and I left. This coffee is horrible too. And $1.39? That's the price of coffee at Starbucks! That just annoyed me this morning - that was the final straw. I'm not going to go back if I can help it.

My sweet Element that needed air in the tires

Experience : A few weeks ago I needed to put air in my tires. They were pretty low. I also needed gas. I remembered the 7-11 between work and home had both gas and a air pump so I stop by to fill up all parts of my car. I parked in front of the air pump and blinked a few times seeing that they are wanting to charge me $.75 to use the air pump. OK, not abnormal, not the most common practice either though at gas stations. I prepared myself though. I went and took all the caps off the valve stems to speed the filling because I just knew it would run short. I drop my coins in and the machine hums to life. As I apply the nozzle to my tire the air begins to pour into the tire - slowly. Very slowly! I could blow up a balloon faster with my mouth than this machine could. Great, this thing is going to fill my tires slow and expire quickly. Which it did. I didn't have any more coin so I walk across the parking lot and go inside expecting the cashier to be courteous and offer me another $.75 to finish filling my four tires. He looks at me like I'm crazy. He tells me to give him a $1 and he'll make change for me. Uh, no. The problem lies with your crap machines, not with my amazingly fast NASCAR pit skills. Anyways, I stood at the counter long enough he gave me 4 quarters. I gave one back because I reminded him all I needed was $.75, not a whole buck. I wasn't trying to get anything free out of it, I just wanted to be able to finish what I paid for.

"Cheap as Free" is good, when they don't run out!

Experience : Back in July, July 11 to be exact, 7-11 had free Slurpees. It's 7/11 of course. Awesome! I went after work to get one. Stupid dummies. Sorry, we're out of the free Slurpees says a sign. What! It's only 3:45? How could they be out? Well could I use the small cup and only fill it 1/2 way? No. You guys are jerks! Jenni ran into this problem too, along with a handful of other friends who went to stop by that day too.

It's not like I'm going to avoid this place like the plague. It's like Wal*Mart. I'm just going to do all I can to get my gas and energy drinks elsewhere. I encourage everyone to do the same, because I'm a community organizer now.

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Now playing: Boys Like Girls - Thunder
via FoxyTunes & Pandora

Normal of Behavioral Dysfunction?

2008-12-22T15:15:00.002-07:00

When I am eating something that is made up of lots of different pieces (e.g. Chex Mix (or is it 'Mex'?)) I like to eat the worst flavors or pieces first. Then I move onto the next least favorite and so on until I have a pile of the best pieces left. It really sucks though when I'm sharing with Jenni though, because she likes to eat the best pieces first and then I'm stuck with just the not best pieces.

Anyways, I'm enjoying some home made Chex Mix/Mex right now and I'm picking out the peanuts first. Gonna nibble on the wheat Chex next. Rice and corn Chex will be my next pick to be concluded with a handful of remaining pretzel sticks!

Merry Christmas!

9th grade : My Class Journal

2008-12-19T13:39:00.008-07:00

This is one of many short stories and journal entries from the 9th and 10th grade (1995-1996). I pulled out a box this morning and came across my folders. I kept all my stories and the reviews I had to write. I hated English, you'll soon see why. The only thing that made it fun was my teacher. She was my favorite teacher. These stories are unabridged and I didn't change any spelling, grammar or punctuation. It seems that we were given topics to write about every so often. Seems I had a love for ye olde English words back then. This is the last posting from 9th grade. Next week we'll explore the dark 10th grade portfolio.
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The First Week 'o School

Blah? No, just kidding. My first week of school has been good. The first few days seemed to take forever, but now the days are zooming by like a car on a highway that zooms by another car thats parked on the shoulder and makes that "swoosh" noise. So far the classes havent been as boring as I first thought but then again they arnt no picnic! It took me a while to memorize my schedule but Im A-OK now. (haha) One thing though is the computers are ALL Mac's? Why don't they have a mix? most businesses and P.C.'s are IBMs? The lunch food is sh -, err crap, the fries are soggyer than a wet sponge. Therefore This School ________ (I'll have to fill in the blank latter)

8-30-95

Scarlet Ibis

Once apon a time in a distant land a person named Brettithes was strolling along in the park when 2 people jumped out of a bush.
"Hark! It has be my two friends!" excplaimed Brettithes.
"Tis, and it is I Gregorethis and he Andrewith who hath come to taketh you away it." cackedGregorethis.
Brettithes started to run awayeth adn as he did Andrewith triped Brettithes adn he fell on his faceth.
The Moreth of this story (hathe been brought to you by Orgea sponges ®) - Don't get triped.

8-30-95

When You didn't follow the crowd

a time ago in a far away land Sir Brett was wanting to get a No Fear brand Tee-Shirt but he didn't and latter didn't want one because there wasn't the one he wanted so he never did and he will never want one (Im hungry)

When I met my Papa

I had never sawed my papy untill 7th grd. Twas then when he invited me down. I hath felt nervous. It ended very fun. He is nice and very funny. He has a dog named Cho. See Cho run. Cho can do tricks. See Brett through Cho a ball. See Cho chase burgler. Run burgler, run!
The 3nd

O/C mi story is about...

My real friends are: Sherri, Cassy, Dustin, Mary, Tira, Mrs. Drummond. A real friend is someone you can be friends with. I am a real friend. A friend is

someone who will play Legos with you
someone who will be on your team
someone who likes to be your friend
your pet(s)
some one who will cut down trees with you for no particular reason
someone who will start a fire in the sewers with you
someone you kan can beat up
someone who will smooch with you

{no title}

Hi I would really like a cool little torch i saw in a magizine. It is hand held and it emits a 3 inch flame up to 1/6 the suns surface. its only 39.99 and come with a years suply of fuel.
I want ti because its neet-o-cheetoo
The fact that I cant get it easilly makes me want it even more.
I cant get it cause you have to be 18 so I gotta find someone who would do it for me

The End

{no title}

I was had taken from me a laser and I couldn't get it back! I had to acept that I shouldn't have brought it and now I don't know where it is... : (
The End

Gotcha Last

One night at a slumber party. My friends got a plan when I was 1st to fall asleep. They put toothpaste on my face... It burned they all were laghing when I woke up cause i didn't notice it. I felt a burning sensation but I didn't know what it 'twas. I felt dumb

This story

One day that one guy lost that once scence. He had to live with that one person. That one person had to take care of that one guy because he couldn't do that one thing with out by himself. Those are people laughed and walked that one way.

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What the heck happened here? This is ridiculously bad writing. I was actually graded on this too. No wonder I never learned how to write properly! I don't even know what the point of these little writings were. I think I made up pretty much every story too.

Now playing: Thee Spivies - Johnny Come Lately
via FoxyTunes

9th grade : Short Story (a look to the future)

2008-12-19T13:05:00.006-07:00

This is one of many short stories and journal entries from the 9th and 10th grade (1995-1996). I pulled out a box this morning and came across my folders. I kept all my stories and the reviews I had to write. I hated English, you'll soon see why. The only thing that made it fun was my teacher. She was my favorite teacher. These stories are unabridged and I didn't change any spelling, grammar or punctuation. She had us write this the first week of school in 9th grade. It was a 'what do you want to have accomplished during high school and your life'. As funny as this letter is, I remember writing this with all seriousness. Don't laugh too hard.

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To Brett,

By the end of your Senior year you will have and will be the following: be on the starting line-up at every football game, be on the soccer team every year, be a referee every springs and fall, to be on the honor roll every quarter, to be in at least 10 comercials, and be an extra in a movie. Once I graduate from College I want to be an anouncer and a stand-up comedian. I one day hope to go to KU with a band scollership and be in the KU Marching Band. Also I would like to be a captain in the forensics Team by my senior year. I would like to have a excellent score on a forensics competition. I will also be part of the Millard South Marching Band when they win a state competion for whatever they compete for. In addition to all this I would like to make lots and lots of friends. I would also like to buy or win a Dodge Intrepid by my senior year.

----------

Hahaha! No, that is certainly worthy of a LOL. I'm embarrassed to even post this one! Wow, where did I ever go wrong. I let myself down it seems. I quit football after 1/2 a season in 9th grade. Never tried out for the soccer team, didn't re-certify to be a referee in 11th grade, I did make the honor roll though, have yet to be in any commercials or movies. I'm not on track to be an announcer or comedian (although this letter certainly is funny). Never went to KU, especially on a band scholarship (I don't even think they offer those). I quit HS marching band after 9th grade because it sucked. I never made captain or a good score at any forensics competition. I never got my Dodge Intrepid, but shortly after HS I did buy a Dodge Stratus. Not to mention my spelling was atroshous....

Now playing: Dashboard Confessional - These Bones
via FoxyTunes

9th grade : Research Paper

2008-12-19T09:38:00.007-07:00

This is one of many short stories and journal entries from the 9th and 10th grade (1995-1996). I pulled out a box this morning and came across my folders. I kept all my stories and the reviews I had to write. I hated English, you'll soon see why. The only thing that made it fun was my teacher. She was my favorite teacher. These stories are unabridged and I didn't change any spelling, grammar or punctuation. I did add italicized page links to view the scanned copy of each page so you can laugh at the corrections scribbled on my paper.
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score sheet
page 1

Brett Goodlin
Drummond
English 9
26 February 1996

The Breathing Bioharzard

Every ten seconds someone dies from the use of tobacco. Killing over three million people per year, tobacco is the leading cause of premature death (World No-Tobacco Day 1). It is hard to believe that a little leaf can put millions of people six feet under, but tobacco is a very addictive drug whose consequence is death. Because of the numerous side effects smoke is very bad.

Although smoking is illegal for minors in many places, teens will ignore the law and mock the officers the try to uphold them. The Millard South High School Student Handbook punishes smoking or even the possession of tobacco products on school grounds with a long term suspension (Handbook 19). The Nebraska Legislature has made a law that punishes minors in possession of tobacco products and those who supplies the minor with the legal narcotic (Revised Laws 1051).

page 2

There is a reason smoking is illegal, it is bad for the individual's health and appearance. Smokers have a one in two chance of dying from cigarettes; killing 20% of people in developed countries ( World No-Tobacco Day 1). Consistent tobacco use will cause lung cancer, terminal bad breath and a tar stained mouth. Adolescent smoking has been dubbed a 'pediatric disease' by David Kessler, FDA's Commissioner (Pertschok 1). Also it has been named the single most preventable facto to premature death but the problem has been left unattended to (World No-Tobacco Day 2). Not only is smoking bad for you but is also endangers others as well. Smoking harms the well being of others as well. Second hand smoke causes lung cancer and other diseases in persons exposed to it, it also exacerbates allergies and asthma (World No-Tobacco Day 1).

Because of the side effects of smoking, it is very bad. This has been proven by: the law disapproves of minors smoking, it is bad for the individual's health and personal appearance and the health of others as well. So you may ask yourself, why do people smoke after all this is known? Because many people do no know. 90 percent of all smokers start before the age of 21 (Pertschok 1). The tobacco companies know this; they target kids in their advertisements (Pertschok 1). To insure people get hooked and stay hooked the selfish, uncaring companies deliberately manufacture their cigarettes with a higher nicotine content than marked on the box or pack (Pertschok 1). Because of this selfish greed of the tobacco companies and the stupidity of the individual, many people will have a lifetime of suffering.

page 3
page 4

WORKS CITED

"Indicator 49. Tobacco, Alcohol, and Drug Use", University of Michigan Institute for Social Research. (1993) p. 1 of 1: (http://www.ed.gov/pubs/YouthIndicators/indtab49.html/).

"Indicator 49. Tobacco, Alcohol, and Drug Use", University of Michigan Institute for Social Research. (1993) p. 1 of 1: (http://www.ed.gov/pubs/ YouthIndicators/indfig49.gi/).

Millard South High School Student Handbook 1995-1996, p. 19.

Nebraska Legislature State Laws, Revised 1993, p. 1051.

Pertschok, Michael, "Fight Smoke with Fire," The American Prospect no. 22 (Summer 1995) 84-85 p. 1 of 3: (http://epn.org/prospect/22/22pert.html/).

"Tobacco and Health: The Facts," World No-Tobacco Day. 1-2: (http://www.who.ch/programmes/psa/pres3.html/).
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Aren't I just the most eloquent writer? I like how I put the forward slash at the end of each of the URLs. It is interesting how I hated smoking back then too. Did this persuade you to do anything besides laugh at my 9th grade skills?

Now playing: Brandtson - Summer in St. Claire
via FoxyTunes

9th grade : exploration in adjectives & power verbs

2008-12-19T08:21:00.008-07:00

This is one of many short stories and journal entries from the 9th and 10th grade (1995-1996). I pulled out a box this morning and came across my folders. I kept all my stories and the reviews I had to write. I hated English, you'll soon see why. The only thing that made it fun was my teacher. She was my favorite teacher. These stories are unabridged and I didn't change any spelling, grammar or punctuation. I only changed names to italicized initials.
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My Room

After a weary day at school, I sulked toward my room. Opening the door a pungent oder greats me.. while my cat darts out. I plop onto my bed, relieved to feel it's soft comfortness engulf me. No sonner than I had lain down my mom storms in the room. She complained how mess it was. I glanced around... posters on the wall, socks on the dresser, jeans on the desk. I leaned over and turned on teh radio to hera my favorite song 'Misery'. I jerked off my shoes and socks the way my brother used to to begin the periless adventure of cleaning my room.

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Ha! What in the world is this? What's this last part about jerking my shoes and socks off like my brother all about? I got threatened with a Zero grade if I didn't put my name on my work next time too. Misery, is a good song by Soul Asylum. In fact. I think I'll listen to it right now.

Now playing: Soul Asylum - Misery
via FoxyTunes

9th grade : Short Story

2008-12-19T07:05:00.002-07:00

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brett goodlin
hour 5
13 may '96

I REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN...

KINDERGARTEN, the base of education and foundation of friendship. Is that the truth, well at least the first part. AW. Wow! I sat next to her at Table 2. I was shy, maybe said hi once or twice. RS sat next to her too. I hated him! Why? Because he sat next to her too. He said something occasionally, as did I, but he was aggressive. During Reading he would always sit by her and I would have to sit across the circle. That was bad.

"Brett? Brett, will you read please?" Mrs. M, my teacher asked.
"S-see sp- spot ra- no run" I stuttered out.
"No Brett, pay attention, we're on page four" she said annoyed.
"Oh! Sorry." I apologized and turned beat red, "C- can Ji- Jim fl- fly? No. He is not a b- bri- bi, what's that word?" I asked ashamedly.
"Bird" she replied patiently.

I DID not want to read anymore, what's the point, when are we ever gonna need this! Ah! Sweet victory! The big hand was on the five! RECESS!!

"It's recess time" I proclaimed.
"Yeah! Yes! Yippy-skippy!" the room was filled with cheers.
"Brett! For that little outburst you get five minutues off recess." she chirped.
"Ah but-" how rude! interupted.
"You WIL WAIT five minutes! Now let's go." she was insistent.

*******

Outside it was perfect for swinging. 'except I was stuck with my teacher. Gooly! Oh, my goodness! RS was swinging with her!!! That was it. My time was up and so was his... to live! I ran s\down there and punched him. Being me, of course it did not hurt him so he swung back knocking the air out of me. I was on the ground when a knee hit my hamstring ohhh did that hurt!

by now whistles were blowing and teachers were running. I had one chance left so i got up and flailed my arms at him with clenched fist. *POW* right in the kisser.

*******

"Brett, RS, I'm very disappointed in you two!" Mr. P our principle said.
"He started it" i lied.
"Nu-uh! You did you big meany!" he defended.
"I don't care who did what. You're both getting a spanking." said the man i thought to be evil incarnate.
Now the bad of this was double punishment because he would call my mom and she would get me too. I also had to go the rest of the day with that girl stealer.

It just so happened my mom called his mom and now we had to be friends. I was outraged. Mad even. Well it turned out that we became good friends and still are to this day.
So the moral of this story is... well there is no moral. But! If there were to be one it would be 'If you ever are riding your bike and a fat guy next to you is making weird noises with his nose and f\the flabs under his arms were shaking like jello and asked if you were riding down the ocean on a jet ski and one of the wheels falls off, would it still take the same number of pancakes to cover a dog house? Don't answer with . Well if you stopped and ate fried okra with backed beans on an inflatable mattress, no because ice cream has no bones.

NOW YOU GOT SOME END ACTION!

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The stories only get worse as I go through my folder. This was certainly somewhat embarrassing to read. Not that my grammar or writing skill are any worse then than they are now, it's just funny to me. A lot of embellishment of actual events and a lot of make believe too. I think if I were to punch someone now, it would still have the same effect as it did back in Kindergarten though.

"Go Chiefs!" or "Go Chiefs?"

2008-12-14T16:48:00.002-07:00

I am not a true fan of many things. I like a lot of stuff, but not really a fan. College Basketball? I'm cheer for KU. College Football? I'll cheer for Nebraska. NBA? Lame. Soccer? Colorado Rapids. Football? Chiefs FAN. They haven't had the best season this year. I'll concede it is going pretty bad.

Anyways, they played today and I was pretty stoked to see them gain the lead, and keep it! I'll take a win, even if it's because the Chargers gave it away from penalties. Turnovers are always a bonus too. The Chiefs looked poised to win with less that 2 minutes left in the game and held the lead 21-10. It was getting close to 2:15, time for the Denver game to come on and the Chargers scored a TD. Next thing we know, the Chiefs/Chargers game is no more. My cousin, Jeffrey, and I groan because we won't get to finish watching. We're feeling alright about the pending results until Jenni decided to talk.

'Oh, the games is almost over, the Chiefs are finally going to win'. O rly? Jenni, Jenni, Jenni! Oh, why do you say such things? Jeffrey and I make a little chuckle. "You'd be surprised. We've had some good history this year of giving the game away in the last bit of the game." I replied.

I don't know what happened. The game wasn't on. I live in Colorado. The Denver Broncos trump anything that may already be on TV when their game comes on. I'm stuck with highlights now. Highlight comes one. What! The Chargers scored another touchdown? How? What? Did they get the onside kick? Crap! Chiefs losing now 21-22! We just laugh with denial now. The game is over, so we though. Oh well, not like we would have made the playoffs or anything. It just sucked to know we gave away yet another game. What's this? Another highlight? The Chiefs got the ball back! They are going to kick for a game-winning field goal! Oh yeah! We have a chance! SON OF A! He misses it! You don't miss field goals. No, let me correct that. You don't miss more than 1 field goal per game. Our kicker had already hooked a short field goal to miss it once. We would have won had he made the first one. So why not redeem yourself and connect for the game winning kick? Why do you need to miss two kicks? Oh man! So close! Why oh why? Oh well, we have next season and a really good draft pick? And at least we still have Tony Gonzalez, the best player ever.

Open Spaces

2008-12-11T13:49:00.006-07:00

the window is new, no more dungeon for Brett

I decided to try to make friends today at work. I know, I know. It was hard. I used to work in my own little dungeon cave. I liked it. I was left alone, no one was in my row and I could just focus on what I needed to get done without the distraction of talking to someone. So what happened? Well I was just dorking around and took the panels off and was talking to my friends and there was a decision to keep it off. I did some switching around and installed a window there. It's nice, I suppose. Take some getting used to. However good it may be that I'm taking small steps out of my cave, there are a few negatives that I need to get used to. I have 2 people able to look over into my cube now. Here is the downfall of the switch:

I can't just pick my nose whenever I want to now
I actually have to work now
It feels like I have stalkers now (I'm a stalker too, but not in real life. I'm a Facebook stalker. HA!)
I can't just randomly do an ADHD / energy release dance because they will see and I'll get laughed at (don't laugh at me, sad!)

Practice. Practice Safety.

2008-12-05T15:25:00.003-07:00

I brought a couple blocks of softwood to work today, some chisels, and a clamp. Fridays are typically slow so I thought it would be a good day practice making dove tail joints. I don't have a router (not that I would have brought it work if I did though) to make the cuts clean and simple. I don't have a little saw to cut away the excess either. I have chisels and some basic knowledge in paring wood. I clamped the blocks to my desk and started paring away. I made my scribe lines and did the best I could with keeping a straight line going down into thickness of the wood. It took some extra work because my large 1" chisel wasn't as sharp as I thought I had it.

Once I completed the 3 cutouts I put the pieces together only to notice that there are some gaps. I wasn't shocked because this was the first time I ever tried cutting these joints out. Not to mention my setup and tools I used. Still, I am pretty happy with how it turned out. Since I finished with plenty of work day left I thought I would try to do some modification to the edges and try to make them more smooth and a tighter fit. This is where I should have been a lot more careful since I was needing to clamp my stuff vertically and I wasn't able to securely. I figured a way to clamp it vertically to the inside of my file cabinet drawer. I was scraping away to shave the extra thickness out of the groove. I was working against the end grain and that wasn't going very smooth. For some reason, I moved my index finger away from behind the safety of the wood to in front of the tip of the chisel I was using. A quick chunk of the wood caused the chisel to zoom towards my helpless finger and I received my first injury when it comes to woodworking! Thankfully it was just a glancing blow, nothing dead-on or bone-deep. It bled like something fierce for about 10 min if I wasn't pressing the paper towel against it.

Respect these tools. Just because a tool isn't a power tool does not mean they are harmless. I could have easily taken a big chunk of my finger off with these chisels. I am glad for my injury. It wasn't severe, but it was enough to shock my attention and keep me on the front end of being as safe as possible. Yeah for fingers!

(posted from Practice. Practice Safety. by Woodlin)

Resurrection of Cynicism

2008-12-04T10:13:00.002-07:00

I just need to vent, steering clear of that nasty Coors Light beer though (that stuff is just flavored water). Words of encouragement is not a love language I respond to. So don't tell me things are going to be OK. Don't tell me God had something else in store. Don't. I just need to be left alone for a bit and then I'll be fine.

What's the deal? Bah! It's just life. It's just being a "grown up" and having a "real job". I've been in my same job here 2 years now. I like it. It's certainly nothing I can do forever, but I'm fine where I am. I've applied for a couple other jobs here since I've been here and I was passed over each time. While I was bummed about not getting the job, it was OK because I really wasn't too qualified for the position. Once I was passed over, my ego was bruised, but I got over it. But what about if I KNOW I am qualified for a job, that I know I can do it, that I have done it before? What if everything in the job description and requirements I could say "That's me." to?

I had applied for a job in finance here and just found out yesterday that I was not being offered the job. They were choosing someone with "more experience". What that means is that I didn't interview well because I am qualified and have over 2 yrs experience. Granted, I've been stuck here in this job for 2 years also so I'm a bit rusty. I'll just stab my face off if that's one of the reasons.

Oh, I'm so upset. We had some friends over last night, and they knew I had applied for the job. He had asked when I was going to hear back from HR. I didn't want to talk about it so I just shrugged it off like I didn't know. Then he kept going on for like 5 minutues about the job. I wanted to take one of the candles I had lit and pour the liquid wax on my eyeballs. Uhhhhh!

I'll be fine. I won't really pour wax on my eyes or stab my face. I'm more of a wuss that I let on. Stupid. Stupid dummy.

Just Kotex?

2008-12-02T08:20:00.003-07:00

I went out to run some errands on Monday evening. Had to run to Target, Best Buy and some random other stops. Since I was going to Target to return a sweater Jenni bought she asked if I would pick up some panty liners. (I really hate that word "panty" it seems spell-check does too because I got a squiggle line below it.) I can do that. I've bought those before. I've bought the "economy" pack of tampons from Sam's Club before too. So this is something I'll do. I'm not skerd.

On my way to the stores Jenni calls me on my phone and asks me to pick up a treat for her. Twix is always a safe bet. Little thought went into the call and I hung up and went on my way.

So as I'm in Target I return the sweater and walk to the feminine hygiene isle. I guess it had been a while since I had made a purchase like this because I didn't remember that there could be so many options for me to chose from. I decide on some Kotex because they had less pink on the box than most of the rest. I had to find a line with candy now and the express lane was open and candied. I put the box of panty liners {eewww} on the belt and then grab a Twix and set that down too. It was at that moment it dawned on me how ridiculous I must look. It was almost the same situation as a friend of mine wrote about in her blog - Just Tampax - and I almost started laughing out loud. A quick check caught myself from making this exchange even more awkward. "Yeah, I'm a guy. I can't make it look like I'm just buying these girl things. I came for the Twix and these pads are a secondary purchase." Oh dear, how ridiculous did I feel. The checker never made eye contact with me which furthered my susption that I was looking really stupid. As if she were make eye contact with me, she might just bust up laughing at me, but she didn't want to get in trouble so she just avoided the opportunity. She then put the stuff in a bag, I forgot to bring in the reusable bag in the car (again) and so I just tell her that I don't need a bag for those. Ha! I'll just carry proudly my box of panty liners in one hand and my Twix in the other as I leave. "La la la la laaa!" She doesn't say anything again, takes the stuff out of the bag, hands me the reciept and the items then throws the bag away! Oh well come on now! If you're going to throw it way I might as well of used it. Is this box contaminated or something that you can't reuse it? Maybe I should have taken the bag, at least then I wouldn't have to sport my purchase to everyone who I walked by and the bag could have made a good garbage can liner.

And now for the anti-climatic ending of this story.....

Perhaps you are the hateful group?

2008-11-19T12:08:00.006-07:00

Two things have prompted this writing. The reaction to Prop 8 in California and the 20/20 special last week (11/14) on the "Pregnant Man." I'm not looking for debate or argument. If you feel you have something to add to this post, feel free. However - I am keeping Proverbs 26 in mind. You can't argue with a fool. Don't act the fool... I don't know what that means, I'm dumb.

Common ground for the rational, yet different opinionated reader. Extremes and exceptions to the 'normal' exist on both sides of any argument. There are radical people out there promoting hate and division in the name of god. There are crazy radical people out there who are violently promoting the 'gay-rights' agenda also. I am going to borrow a thought from
Check out his glorious hair! Ravi Zacharias (see, even though I can't always finish his books, I still learn something) to give a quick context to this though. Those promoting hatred and violence in the name of God are in direct contradiction to the teachings of Jesus and the Bible - not in connection with it. However, the other side, the radical gay enforcers are acting in line with the atheistic world views and philosophy. Hate is acceptable to the atheist. It has to be or else their own world view implodes on itself. That's a whole other debate and I'm not expert enough to argue it... yet.

Proposition 8. That means the State of California hates gay people, right? A vote for Prop 8 means you want all homosexuals to die a brutal and painful death, right? You vote for Prop 8 and you have no tolerance and want to push your religious beliefs on everyone, right? To the rational person (again, don't keep reading if you're a complete idiot, you will only want to kill me and therefore further the point I'm trying to make) that isn't true. You know what, let me make a couple statements right now that I should have put first (why didn't i just move my mouse a few lines up and click the beginning of this paragraph and write it out instead of going to all this trouble first? I don't know - that's a good idea. Now, why didn't I just delete this little conversation with myself? That also would have been a good idea...)

Where was I.... OK. Let's see. I don't live in CA, so I didn't really care to worry about Prop 8. It indirectly would affect me, but there was enough crap to worry about in Colorado from this past election (i promised I would write about the stupid unions, I still plan on that). So if I don't care too much, why am I writing? It's because someone is being hateful. It's because someone is being intolerant. It's because this is so messed up and I can't believe (actually I can) it has gotten this ridiculous. Riotous demonstrations outside the Mormon Temples? Isn't that a hate crime? I thought our society looks down on hate crimes. Those that perform those vile acts are the scum of the society. I believe that. I don't care who you are. If you're a racist redneck from KY or a church burner in CA, you deserve a whipping with the cat-o-nine-tails! I say bring back corporal punishment..... there I go again, how do I get so off topic? The Mormons, or Christians, or the majority of the people in CA were not being hateful toward homosexuals. Defending what you hold true, traditions, and culture is not hateful. Why just attack the churches? It wasn't just the 'church crowd' that voted against this folks. The thing passed. It wasn't a landslide, but a good majority of the population agreed that it should pass (click here for a map). That's not hateful, your reaction is what is hateful. That also brings up a second point. Another word that we hear a lot of. Tolerance. You are intolerant because you don't agree with what I believe. No, sir, you are intolerant.

I would recommend to you The Arrogance of Pluralism. I got some inspiration for my thoughts on this topic from there.

Who is intolerant? Me? Excuse me, but you are dilutional. Those were my thoughts when I was watching that 20/20 piece. Background story for those who didn't hear about it. There is a girl. She felt like she was a boy. She got the surgery and took pills to make her look like a boy, but kept her female reproductive organs. She then got her birth certificate changed to say she was a male. So she is legally a he now. Ok, that's messed up, but whatever. Here is where it doesn't get 'whatever' but 'what?'. She decided she, sorry, he decided he wanted to be a she again and get preggers. No doctor they could find would assist him in getting pregnant. That made them upset. So they ordered a DIY kit of sperm. His wife, a girl, went to the store a bought a little suringe that you feed baby bird with and injected (I had a myriad of other words to use, but my friend convinced me to keep it toned down) that collection of spermies into the guy. He got prego and decided to share it with the world. A dude with a poor excuse for a beard (looked like a bad George Michael scruff-type beard) and a big pregnant belly is all over the news. They said in the interview that they didn't expect such the reaction they recieved. That just proves how ignorant they are.

Activist headset, trying to change the definition of "cordless" Real life - this lovely couple, and a cute little girl, are now being bombarded with hate. That is messed up. I wish nothing but the best for them. Truly!!!! I don't hate them! I share empathy with them as they are now trying to raise their little girl (well, 'their' is a whole other problem and the child's birth certificate is an issue in and of itself..... you can only imagine). My problem with all of this. They are acting like we, the ENTIRE WORLD, are intolerant of them and they should be able to be what they want. They are intolerant. They are the ones forcing change and their crazy ideals down our throats, not the other way around. The are the ones that are pushing the envelope of... what is a person... not us trying to hold to what is tradition and what is SCIENCE. They want to have another baby, fine. That's messed up I think, but fine. They want to be married. Seems they can be because its a girl and a guy (according to the birth certificates). Now they are saying they want to redefine what a mother and father is. NO no no. They are trying to redefine what a male and a female are... or is... depends what the definition of 'is' is..... I don't know what correct grammar word to use, they both sound goofy.

The thing is, these activists people are the intollerant ones. They dont' care what the majority of the country hold to. They don't. They just want what they want irreguardless of what cultural norms, or how many people they upset. Tollerance goes both ways.

Impatient drivers

2008-11-11T09:40:00.002-07:00

Ha! Now am I really one to write about bad drivers? Just a couple weeks ago I hit a car at a stoplight because I was digging through a bag of food and eased my foot off the break. I frequently text while I am in motion (however, I am making a conscious effort to stop). I like to go fast. But who doesn't? Actually, this isn't about bad drivers, but rather an observation about impatience.

What happens when you are pulling up to a stop light and there is a car or cars in front of you and the lane to the right or left is open or less cars? You pull over to the other lane don't you? It's so true. I've been cut off by someone busting over at the last minute to get in front of me so they can have the #1 spot when the light turns green. And what usually happens when you change lanes? You either get beat by not only the cars that were in front of you, but the car that took your spot at the end of the line is speeding by you now too. Then you eventually get back into the original lane because you have to turn off the road anyways. What's the deal with people switching lanes so much? I do it? Did you ever think about that? We are so impatient that we can't stand to be "stuck" behind 2 other cars. Granted - if I'm pulling up to a stoplight with a school bus, semi-truck, garbage truck, landscaping truck.... I am sooooo changing lanes because I would definitely be stuck behind them as I watch the rest of the world pass me by on the left. We'd pull up to the next intersection and I would miss getting through on the green light because this bub would take forever to get up to speed, not to mention the nasty smell of diesel exhaust spewing into my cabin. That's just disgusting!

So, do we really accomplish anything by not being that weirdo that pulls over real quick? Not really for the most part. Every now and then I keep an eye on the cars around me, the ones I pass and the ones that zoom by me. Seems that most of the time, we are all hanging out at the next stop light together anyways. Hurry up and wait!! Hurry! Go! Haha. Anyways, I feel a bit more content with this post vs the stupid one about Noah's Ark I did yesterday. Not to say that this one is any less stupid. But I can relate more to this one. What's more good is the news clip to the left about Nascar. It's quite funny. (yes I put it to the left on purpose... turn left!)

Where is Noah's Ark?

2008-11-10T11:38:00.004-07:00

Technology should solve all our mysteries. Well, that and global warming....

Why haven't we found Noah's Ark? We know where it's at. It says so in Genesis 8:4. Mount Ararat, right? Well - the Bible actually says "mountains of Ararat." Mountains? Well crap! How many is that then? Are we talking something as general as The Rocky Mountains? It's possible because I looked on Wikipedia for some help getting this figured out (because Wikipedia is an end-all source for all things correct*). I'm not a Noah's Ark buff, I really don't know why I'm writing about it. Perhaps my curiosity has been ticked enough over the years to look into this and just ask a question or three. Some people are crazy with their obsession about it. I think that's admirable. Everyone needs something that drives them. For me, I like woodworking (not very good), soccer refereeing (getting better), and WOW (it's OK, you can laugh, but I'll never be this crazy about it). Anyways, I came across a website - Noah's Ark Search - that has stuff about it.

But really - I can understand why we couldn't find it years ago. It's treacherous up there. Technology has advanced now. We hike and scale mountains for leisure. This bub is just under 17,000 feet in elevation. I know someone who's hiked Mt. McKinley in Alaska (not Gov. Palin, I don't know her) and that deal is over 20,000 feet! So why can't someone climb it? Isn't global warming melting all the snow from these big mountains? So here is some math: less snow to trek through + satellite imaging = easy hike. Really, go google ('google' isn't a verb you dolt) Ararat satellite photos and look. There isn't any snow there - and they even circle where you need to go hike to! How simple is that! It's like doing a word search for a 2nd grader!

"Hey, what are you doing next summer? Wanna go climb Ararat?" Not something you hear often, but there is no reason you shouldn't. For only $500 Euros (currently $637USD) you can hike the mountain. That's a bargain compared to many other mountains. K2 costs about $1000, Mt. McKinley costs around the same at $5700 for a group of 6. Even Culebra Peak in Colorado costs $100. But hey, you know people sneak in and hike all rogue like without paying. Why not just go sneak into Turkey (claim your Canadian if you're caught and they will just pat you on the head and let you go) and climb with your non-Turkish guide, and only pay for plane ticket and supplies. I won't tell Turkey on you.

*Isn't it funny that Wikipedia has it's own Wikipedia page? How's that for reliable?
Haha, I just realized I wasted a good portion of my day writing about Noah's Ark. How lame! I could have spent my time better playing WOW. Hahaha!

...but he can't show his birth certificate!

2008-11-06T11:02:00.005-07:00

As much as I lament the fact that our next leader will be President Obama I have to lend my thoughts against this conspiracy theory about him not being a natural-born citizen. I will present two arguments in this blog. One supporting his citizenship, one supporting the claim he isn't.

Citizen Obama

Just because he can't or won't produce a birth certificate doesn't negate the fact that he's an American. How do you become a citizen of the USA? You are born on US soil, domestic or abroad. You are born to an American citizen is another way. You immigrate and become a naturalized citizen. What do we know to be true in these three instances? His mother. She was born, like me, in the great state of Kansas. Logical conclusion from this paragraph? His mom's a citizen, he's born to a US citizen, he's a citizen.

So what if you don't want to believe any of that? Well, he travels and to get back into the USA when you go to foreign countries you need to have a US Passport. A driver's license won't due (unless you're coming from Canada - but that law has changed by now too). Anyone who has a passport should be able to come and go from our borders. How do you get a passport? When I got mine I had to mail a check and my birth certificate and some other items to the State Dept. A few weeks later, I got it all back with a shiny, new US Passport. So passport = birth certificate.

NonCitizen Obama
What if he really isn't a citizen? What do we do? What happens now? Very good questions that cannot be answered. No one knows. There is nothing in the Constitution saying how to deal with a President or President-elect who is found to not be a US Citizen. It just says they must be a naturally born citizen. So what do we do? Do we void all the votes he received? Do we hold a new election? Does Biden become President? Pelosi (oh God, please no!)? Really, do you have any idea what you are asking for? The time has passed for this argument. It's over. Can you imagine the civil unrest that would occur? I think our nation would literally and figuratively explode in a ball of flames and shortly after implode into a confederacy of states. We would be facing multiple civil wars! Nationally and within the borders of each state. Ok, so we don't want to kill each other - and as dark as it may seem - you know people will die.
So what happens before the civil war? Judicial craziness! Remember in 2000 how the election went to the Supreme Court. How much did that suck? Say this goes to court (which it won't because it's already been rejected by the courts, but we're playing pretend here) and it gets hashed out for months! Document experts trying to prove/disprove the authenticity of the forged birth certificate (yeah, I said forged, remember, we're pretending in this part that he really doesn't have one, so he would have to prove he did by showing us one. If China can do it for their women's (girls) gymnastics team - why couldn't the leader-elect of the free world?). I would rather have a President vs no President while this is decided in court.

So, in conclusion. Freaking drop it. We, as a Nation, cannot afford to have this conspiracy theory dragged out for any longer. We need to become united. We need to have faith in our System. In our Constitution. We need Brett to write his blogs in one setting rather than 3-4 sessions because he loses his thoughts and by the end of the blog it seems far distant to what he started at.... (sorry people/person... i don't know who reads this - shoot! I don't even read it after I write it)
P.S. you should click the 'follow me' link to the side at the bottom so I can change the header from "im so lonely" to "look at that!"
P.S.2. I'm not a civics expert, I'm just recounting what I think I learned when I was in school - so if I'm wrong with some of my facts - prove it. haha, otherwise I'm right!

I won't buy in

2008-11-04T14:37:00.003-07:00

I thought some poetry would be keen

They’ve got me pinned against the wall
It’s political and predictable
Anything you say will be exaggerated and completely blown out of proportion
Ignore them if you can but I doubt you will
They’re out to control how people feel by pushing their agenda on your sub-conscience
While you’re unaware they start the brainwashing process
Time to call out the unwilling
The ones who need to be cut deep in order to have feeling
You’re not used to facing opposition
You’ve done all the talking now it’s time to listen
I understand you want to make a difference
Well you can start by sticking to your own business
You’re an entertaining man trying to be a politician
Stop abusing your position

Follow him follow them follow me follow you follow who
Follow your leader
Do you even know what you’re buying into
Before you follow your leader
It’s the blind leading the blind
Don’t be so eager to follow your leader
Know the truth before you try and turn me into a believer
And make me follow your leader

Conservative uptight right wing republican
Last time I checked I was none of them
But that’s the brush you want to paint me with taint me with
Some aim to please but you aim and miss
ADD maybe, but I can’t tune you out
I would change the station but your signal's too loud
And you’re too proud to realize you’re a moron
Defend what you want whether it’s right or wrong
And this applies to both sides of the equation
Arrogant men in power sure are frustrating
On a pedestal you hear them ranting and raving
Proudly proclaiming what they know nothing about
I hear you talking loud but I will not allow
Tinsel Town to show me how to run my life
Sure you can sing and dance
But that don’t mean that you’re qualified to give America advice

There’s a snake bite in America’s skin from predators looking for causes to sink their teeth in
There’s a snake bite in the church’s skin from predators looking for causes to sink their teeth in
There’s a snake bite in the media’s skin from predators looking for causes to sink their teeth in
There’s a snake bite in the youth of America’s skin

And here is some more

Everyone’s got a hidden agenda watch them push it on you
Everyone’s got a hidden agenda don’t pretend not to
It’s a battle for your mind and a battle for your pocket book
They’ll play on your emotions until your heart is hooked
Reel them in tell them what’s your intent
No mr. salesman you don’t have my confidence
See I’m not sure if I can trust your heart
So don’t feed me your lies disguised in sheep guard
Everyone’s got an agenda can you tell me what for
Everyone’s got an agenda can you tell me what’s yours
From the liberal media to the conservative core
From politics to the dude trying to play it cool on the dance floor
Its human nature runs deep and reeks of secrets
No matter how hard you try no man can keep it
For a time maybe but one day you’re gonna have to face it
And when that time comes you won’t be able to fake it

Lyrics by John Reuben

My double F and a V4J

2008-11-04T09:14:00.002-07:00

What the what! All this jibberish makes me think I don't know what I'm talking about. That, my friend, depends on the subject. I may or may not know something about anything. What I do mean to talk about is my double F and a V4J. Sources tell me that means my Facebook fast and a vote for Jesus! You can never go wrong if you vote for Jesus! He always wins! It's like the Sunday School answer. You can't be wrong. Oh, but Lord Jesus have mercy on us all! Have you ever read the book of Joel in the Bible? I read that yesterday and I felt like I was reading someone's judgment about the United States! Its a short book, only 3 chapters, and I encourage you to click the link back there and read it to refresh your memory of that book.

Anyways - I haven't used Facebook or Twitter for almost a week now. I tell you what, that was a hard thing to do. The first few days were pretty harsh not logging on to see what's going on. I turned off my phone updates with Twitter, so I have no idea what my friends are doing. How much did they pay for gas this past week? Oh how I miss you @fuelfrog. Oh, if you do have Twitter, you should follow Fuelfrog and send your updates to them! It's good, clean fun! Anyway {tangent} once the first few days passed with no Facebook (Ah! What the crap! "Facebook" is not a spelling error. I guess I'll have to add it to the dictionary like before) things got a lot better. I wasn't itching to go see if I got tagged in any albums or if I got invited to join some freaking stupid application (no I don't want to grow a lil' green patch and I'm not gonna do a hit for you in Mafia wars!). Twitter was a bit harder because it's one of those random things that comes up during the course of the day. "Oh, that is really funny. I should twitter that." Oops, can't do that, sry world - you'll have to do with out that photo of that little kid's Halloween costume.

One thing that is odd about Colorado when it comes to voting - everything is a vote for the people it seems. County wants to raise sales tax, we vote yes or no. That's just one of the tough issues we are forced to make - and most of the people voting won't bother to research what they are voting for and many of these amendments and stuffs will pass or not pass because of dummies. There is one in particular I figure I'll complain about tomorrow if it passes - and I'll probably have a hit put out on my head because it deals with labor unions and we all know the mafia controls the labor unions.... I hope I don't get wacked!

Today's background music:

It's almost time to celebrate the Harvest

2008-10-30T08:44:00.003-07:00

Maya the hot dog

How do we go about celebrating the harvest? Well, if we really knew or cared about how crops are harvested, distributed and consumed, we might do something. But do we really care? No. We go to the store and buy stuff that was harvested months ago probably. Anyways, tomorrow is Halloween, the real holiday that will be celebrated, no matter what we call it. And everyone celebrates it differently. The word 'celebrate' is also used differently. Going to church and getting lots of free candy is cause for celebration, but the ancient traditions of Halloween may not be something I will throw a party over. But I digress. Or do I? Did I have a point I was trying to make? Actually no. So I'm not digressed. I'm just random. Well, here is our little hot dog girl. Jenni and I are going to be vendors trying to sell hot dogs. I finally have a reason to wear my bow tie again! Sweet!

Katie stabbing

Emily stabbing

Well, one thing that needs to be done (so I'm told) is carve pumpkins. Last year we had a back stabbing party with the Hinkles and family (sans Nathan) (I feel so smart using 'sans') and carved pumpkins and ate taco soup. It was unseasonably warm last year, as it was this year. So we have yet to go to Starbucks and sip drinks in the cool weather after we carve. Perhaps next year will be good for that.... here are some random photos from the times.

Amazon.com Widgets

Don't laugh, but this is my background music for today

This year's carving party
[Flickr Album]
Last year's carving party
[Flickr Album]

just not Obama?

2008-10-28T07:05:00.003-07:00

Them: Why are you voting for McCain? You are, right?
Me: Well, yeah - because I don't can't stand to see Obama be the President.
T: Is that all?
M: Well.... no.
T: What do you like about McCain that's different than Obama?
M: Well, that's obvious - what a ridiculous question.
T: Such as...?
M: Uh, he isn't... uh. Well, I heard somewhere...
T: So you can't really name a reason why you are voting for McCain other than he's not Obama?
M: It's more complex than that, but yes.

How much does that exchange suck? Quite a bit. "Them" is basically my mind arguing with myself (I'm not talking to myself out loud and rocking back and forth). However, I would like to extend a 'thank you' to a friend who is supporting Obama in opening up dialog with me. I don't know if she read my post a few ago or not, but it is appreciated. She's winning the argument too. I'm not a hard person to debate. I told you that. She's making me think and look into stuff myself that I was too dumb to do earlier.

One problem with both candidates: they both promise stuff they cannot deliver on. They don't make the laws - Congress does. The President doesn't have the power to do pretty much everything they both are saying they will do.... we'll just ignore this for now and pretend they will have free reign to pass whatever legislation they want.

Fiscal policy/Economy
McCain: Says he will balance the budget by vetoing any bill that has pork, or earmarks. Implement a moratorium on spending for a year, pay down the deficit and keep the government to a 2.4% growth rate.
Obama: "if Washington were serious about honest tax relief in this country, we'd see an effort to reduce our national debt by returning to responsible fiscal policies.” However, I can't see where he says he wants to balance the budget. Probably because that would be impossible to do if he is to implement all his government programs. He does want to cut pork, but will allow some to pass through. How will he chose what pork to allow? Depends on who paid his campaign more money.

Obama wants to give 'tax cuts' to 'middle class' families. No, he wants to give away tax credits to millions of Americans who don't even pay taxes. Give thousands of dollars to people who don't pay taxes? What word could be used to describe this? Oh, there I go again - anti-Obama, that 'misguided' socialist.

There is no argument that these large corporations have taken over and gotten out of control with their thirst for money and power. But that's human nature. We are selfish, greedy people naturally. The thing is, the companies who made all this money, they are publicly held companies! Anyone could own a portion of the company and share in the wealth they ammased. What happened instead? Those 'stimulus' checks and people's paychecks to go buying the crap these companies make and go into more debt. So rather than the consumer, the middle-class, being smart with their money - they waste it. They could invest in these 'evil' companies or they can just give them their money in exchange for the 'evil' crap they produce. (The moral of this tangent = personal responsibility should be priority over government hand-holding)

I just vomited in my mouth as I was researching more topics to discuss just now.

Here's the decision. McCain wins on Economic policy for me. He still believes in capitalism, in free-market systems. I agree that there needs to be oversight, there needs to be jail time, there needs to be reclamation of earnings from shady business practices. But I also believe in the entrepreneur. The small business. In the American Dream (no that isn't home ownership, that's opportunity). How do we encourage new business and growth of current ones if we say to the small business owner, "Go ahead and make money. Be successful. But if you make $xx you will have to give us just about 1/2 of what you make in taxes now." That discourages growth. That encourages more shady business. Giving away more tax-breaks isn't a good idea, but raising the taxes is certainly a bad idea for business. It doesn't matter how you slice it, Obama is for a more socialistic government than anything this country has seen.

How not to start the week off

2008-10-27T08:03:00.005-07:00

This is not my
alarm clock.

Have you ever woke up on a Monday morning...early? I did. Today. I could blame Maya for starting to cry at 4:45, but I think my body was actually ready to be awake. Needless to say,I stayed in bed until 5:30 when I had set my alarm so I could get up and read before work. The morning started off nice. I took a nice, warm shower - even had time to shave too. I was dressed, Maya was asleep again and 6am was on the clock. Two options stood before me: (1) stay at home and sit on the couch, read for a bit, then drive off to work (2) head out early to the bus stop, read on the bus, let someone else drive, save gas and conserve resources. I chose option 2 thinking this was the best option.

Not the bus I rode

When I pulled up to the bus stop at 6:10 I thought I was on the right track for the day. I was excited to read the Bible on the way to work, A Shatter Visage on the way home. When the bus pulled up I jumped out the car and put my money in the money-taker machine on the bus. I thought to myself that there is certainly a lot of people on this bus. Last year when I rode I was one of maybe three people on the bus. When I got on, the bus was full, and there were a lot of military people on board. Odd I thought but the time was right for pickup so I found a seat and started reading. After a couple turns (the wrong way) I figured something bad was happening and I laughed to myself for being so dumb. I didn't know how far Schriever Air Force Base was, but I knew it was a ways away, and I was getting a ride there.

Reading while I wait.

I'm on my way to the AFB and I feel the bus coming to a stop. Looking up I see we are pulling into the Walmart in Falcon, CO to pick up a few more people. {phew} After four more people load the bus the driver begins to close the door, I inform him that I got on the wrong bus and he lets me out. 6:30AM. Cold. I start walking to the front of Walmart to hangout inside until I figure out what to do. As I got close, it seems this wasn't a 24hr store. Crap! Oh, there's a Carl's Jr. across the way, they are open for breakfast, I'll wait in there. Crap! Only their drive-thru was open! Ok, well I'm all sorts of cold by now so I figure it can't hurt to walk up to the doors at Walmart to check their openness. They were open.

Maya greeting me

I called Jenni at 6:45 to ask if she could come save me. She wasn't thrilled. I grabbed a donut and sat in the vestibule reading until she showed up. Jenni did show up to save me. She had our little Maya with her, because we don't encourage leaving children alone at home - even if they are sleeping. Jenni wasn't thrilled to see me, but Maya was happy. She said, "Daddy, you're really dumb, but I think you're my favorite still." Oh what a bad start to the day. I was 45 minutes late to work, robbed Jenni of one of her few sleep-in days, got a belly ache from the donut/coffee combo I consumed, and forgot to bring a lunch. But on the bright side, I could have been a couple hours late to work had they not stopped at Walmart.

That's the morning - once I get to work, it's non-stop calls, yet again. I was expecting that so I wasn't caught off guard. But I was busy. The morning flew by. Lunch time! I'm sitting in the break room eating some pizza and my phone shakes. What's this? I got a text? Looking at my phone I almost poop my pants! In 5 minutes I have an orthodontic appointment! Work is 10 minutes drive away! Oh dear! Oh crap! I hate being late to those!

My stupid blue ties
and my extra large gap

Especially for this one because they are going to shave my front teeth and reshape them. I call on my way, turns out I was 10 minutes late. The tooth shaves didn't hurt, it just sounded all sorts of horrible and it smelt like burnt hair. You know when you would take a lighter and singe the hairs on your arm? Yeah, that's what it smelt like. (Or is it smelled? Spell check accepts both words... crap!) To punish me for being late, they not only put the biggest, most painful wires in my mouth (that moved my teeth immediately - PAIN) but they put the wrong color ties on, giving me a bright blue smile like a little 6th grade girl!

Are Obama Supporters Cowards?

2008-10-24T11:13:00.006-07:00

Simple question - I'm not making any judgments. Just asking a question.

I know there are a good number of people who support Mr. Obama that know their stuff. They know his policies, where he stands on issues, his 'plan' for America (Why they still support him still, I will never understand). They know more about their candidate than I know about mine. Wait - I don't have a candidate.

The fact is, I didn't memorize McCain's policies. I don't have Obama's memorized either. I never took a debate class. I'm not a hard person to argue with because I'm persuadable. I love arguing or discussing issues with people, as long as they are civil and honest about the topic, because it helps me understand more about what I believe. I'll argue devil's advocate often enough too.

But why is it with this election, it seems most of my friends who decided to support Obama are either closet Obama supporters or they will get mad and ignore you if you say anything against him? (I just now got sick of seeing the squiggly red line below "Obama" as a spelling error so I added him to my dictionary... uhg. I hope my computer doesn't start aborting babies) Seriously - why can't we have a debate? I have some friends on Facebook that would rather tippy-toe around the subject and be nice. NO. I want to know WHY you support this guy who has no executive leadership experience. I want answers to a handful of other questions.

That is why I've come to conclude cowardice as the only reason no one has done anything but censor and ignore me. They are scared to realize their candidate is like one of the pigs from Animal Farm. (click there to read it for free online, thx Google)

Obama is the answer. Obama is the problem.

2008-10-21T11:11:00.005-07:00

How is it you can ask a question and get two completely opposite answers, both being true?

Question: How do we begin the process of turning the United States of America from a capitalistic democracy to a communist dictatorship?
Answer: Barack Obama is the answer. Barack Obama is the problem.

Depends on how the person asking the question feels about the outcome. Do you really want the USA to become a communist nation or not?

Now, as ridiculous as this is sounding - I'm being serious. Granted, if Obama becomes President, the USA won't turn into the USSR over night. It won't happen in 4 years. I do believe in the citizens of this country enough and most of her leaders that a revolution such as what was seen back when Russia converted will not ever happen here. These politicians are smart and realize that. This will be a slow crawl towards communism. Little changes here. Slippery slope there. Soon enough there are enough policies in place that we won't notice the changes anymore. We'll get comfortable. Sure a few of us will complain, but not enough to do anything about it. And those who complain enough will be silenced.

No way, Brett, that cannot happen! Oh really? What about gas prices? According to the Dept. of Energy the average price for regular gas in 2000 is $1.54. The average price for the same gas this year is $3.61. I felt like stabbing my face just a couple days ago. I went to get gas and I was excited to see it was under $3.00. Like this is something to celebrate? We're just used to high gas prices now.

What else are we used to that we really shouldn't be? Income tax. Sales tax. Carbon tax? Oh, no that's in a few years (thanks Mr. Obama!). Anyways, to partially ruin my own argument, I'll relent that some taxes are necessary. But when it comes to raising them again and again. No. That is where I draw the line. Republicans say Obama is going to raise your taxes. Democrats say that's not true. What are you going to believe? Try believing in yourself and use some common sense.

The thing is, Obama is going to raise corporate taxes. This isn't just those big, evil oil companies and those who "ship American jobs overseas" (that's a whole other topic I might talk about later), but the majority of the American small businesses! Hey, stupid Americans, here is a lesson in business. A corporation is a legal designation of a business. It doesn't mean a giant workplace. Construction contractors are incorporated. Print shops are incorporated. Shops in the mall are incorporated. Best Buy is incorporated. Although the size and revenue generated by all these different small business aren't the same, all these businesses have one thing in common. They exist to make money by providing goods and services. What happens when these evil business owners now have to pay even more taxes from their earnings? Will they just sit back and make less money? Uh - no. That would be stupid. "Why yes, I enjoy making less money for myself and giving more the government." Who says that!? What's going to happen is in order to make that money back, this employer will cut hours, benefits, layoff people, not hire new help, or any combination of that. Tell me how that is good for the working people of America?

It's simple. It's complicated.

Lower the tax burden on corporations. They start making more money. They want to make more money. They hire more people to keep up with the demand of the public. They can't make more money without more employees. They hire more people.
Simple.
Take people's money from people who work hard and give it to people who don't want to work at all. How does the normal, smart American not see anything wrong with that?

Briefly now. Communism. Socialism. Whatever you want to call it. It doesn't work. History people! Learn from your past or you are doomed to repeat it, right? What has the 1900's taught us of socialism? Where is the USSR? It failed. It failed miserably. Now those poor people are struggling to put their economy together and its almost 20 yrs later! Why would we want to screw our selves that bad? Sure our economy doesn't seem the greatest right now. But it's still free markets. The system is still in place. Our economy is driven by us, the people. We have the power to make it work or collapse it. If Obama and his communist friends get elected, we will begin to see a shift towards more policies that don't work. Seriously people! Wake up, think critically. Think logically.

On a side note, speaking of the free market system, if Obama is elected and we start to see our country go down the tube - I'm going to sell "Don't blame me, I didn't vote Communist" bumper stickers. I'll make tons of money.... to give to the government.

Patterns don't lie

2008-10-01T09:59:00.003-07:00

(fitting blog title lately - trying to make sense... good luck following my train of thought)

I'm sure you've run across someone who is having hard times. You get to talking with them and you start to pick up a pattern. This person keeps running into the same problem wherever he goes. Being the objective outsider you say to yourself something like, "This guy has the problem, not these other people he's talking about."

Is it possible to be an objective outsider with yourself? Partially. I can't see it all, I have blind spots still, but I know the problem is me. It has to be. Patterns don't just happen by coincidence. If so, I'm the unluckiest bloke alive!

Going back from my first jobs to now, I have some supervisors who just love me. I have some supervisors who want nothing more than to get rid of me. Sometimes it's taken me a while to figure out the supervisor I thought was a nice, good boss turns out to be the worst ones to work under. They seem to go out of their way to do stuff to bother you. They want to seem the "nice person" still to everyone else, so they don't want to fire you, they just make your job hell and hope you just quit or do something so wrong they can fire you and they won't be the bad guy.
I've also worked for the supervisors who are just outright against me. Quite open about their dislike for me. For some reason, I'd welcome working for those guys than the previous. Working at a grocery store I saw the two types of bosses. Working at the movie theater, I saw the two. Working at coffee shops, I've seen the two types. Working at the Dirty Bird, other restaurants and so on, and so forth - you get the idea. There is a pattern. That isn't bad luck - that is a problem with myself. But what is it? Am I really that anti-social? The corporate world is really not for me? What the crap! Nothing makes sense.

Jenni mentioned something about me getting out of my comfort zone and get to know people. To interact with more people. To show them I care. That is hard and I know it's good advice, but why bother? I prefer to be alone, but I need to have people around. Balance it out, Brett. How? When? Who? Sometimes people annoy me, are those the ones I should befriend? Build that character! Or do I avoid them, find people that share my interest and joys and pursue their friendship? Ha! Where do you find those people! If I did find someone like that - I wouldn't know what to do. I've been burned too much in the past by friends.... uhg! What the heck.

Root issues here: I'm a screwed up, apathetic, stubborn, anti-social, unskilled fellow. Oh, but don't forget, I'm a child of God, with more value than could ever be expressed....
Solution: I dunno. I'm too poor for medication. I'm too deep in poo to care. I'm too stubborn to give up now. I'm too shy to break out and talk. I'm too dependent on a job to go back to school.

Screwed? I'm stuck in a pretty wicked pattern alright.

Why...?

2008-09-11T07:07:00.003-07:00

I don't even know if I'll be able to formulate my thoughts and questions. I know there are more than what I'll ask. However, I feel the need to document my questions in hopes that someone may be able to help me understand more. These range from deep thinking to probably simple answers. These are some of my questions.

1) John 11:35 - Jesus wept. We all know this verse. We are all trivia masters when it comes to that verse. But why. Why did Jesus weep? Why did he cry? Because his friend was dead? I don't really know! Jesus knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead when he got word weeks ago that he was sick. He knew what was going to happen. If he knew that in a matter of minutes he would be alive and well, wouldn't Jesus be happy?

2) Why was Moses so upset that the Israelites made a golden calf and worshiped it? They were worshiping God, I AM. The story unfolds in Exodus 32 if you wanted a refresher. Were the Israelites that stupid? I don't think so. Aaron says here is your god that brought you out of Egypt. They were all first hand witnesses to the exodus out of Egypt. They saw the Red Sea split. They saw the plagues. They saw their neighbors kids die while theirs lived. They even saw the pillar of fire/smoke. Why did God and Moses get so upset then? They didn't have the Law yet, in fact Moses was about to deliver it to them. Could it be said they didn't know better? What give?

3) How do you tell the difference between God taking away and God allowing? Does it really matter to know the difference? Take the September 11 attacks of 7 years ago. It's safe to say that God didn't cause these attacks, however he allowed them to happen. (that's a whole other topic, and may I suggest Light in the Shadow of Jihad by Ravi Zacharias.) That's an easy one, right. But what about my mom? September 22 last year my world was shattered to get a phone call that she died in a horse accident. Did God allow that to happen? Did God take her away? If I ever get the answer to that question, will it ever be OK? I can only imagine more questions that could arise if I knew that answer. The ever-present question will always be "WHY". I can be filled with grief. I can hold back tears because I am at work and have to talk to people all day. I can know that whatever the reasons, God is good and that I can trust in Him no matter what happens. What is is that makes us wonder these things? Why cannot we be content with reading Job 38 and stop asking questions.

I amaze myself

2008-08-13T06:32:00.002-07:00

Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Poison? Oh I thought someone dumped a pixie stick on my battery!

I'm at work yesterday and around 2:30 I got a call from Jenni that our Element stopped working. What? She said the car started just fine when she left work and went strait to the baby sitter's house. When she got into the car to leave there, she was stuck. Thankfully, a neighbor was around to help out the two helpless girls jump start the Element and Jenni made it home with lots of console lights flashing at her with each bump in the road. She left the car running in the garage thinking she may need to charge the battery back up - but the car just died all sorts of dead. I left work early to get home to see what could be done about getting the car fixed for tomorrow since Maya has a Dr. appointment and we're going to need 2 cars. I stopped by Checkers on the way home and picked up a new battery hoping that was the problem.

The battery was all paid for and I pick up the heavy block to take it home. As I picked it up I hear a slushy sound and just like a little kid I get all excited and start shaking the battery to keep hearing the noise. I look up all excited and say to the lady who helped me there, "There's liquid in here?".

This blog brought to you by Coke: "Go ahead, dissolve your battery acid or drink it."

She had a look of mild horror on her face and quickly reprimanded me, "Yes, it's called 'battery acid'! Don't shake that, it could spill out on you!" Oh, good! Nothing would have brightened my day more than paying $70 to have battery acid splash all over my face and arms! That shows you how much I know about cars. So with my vast knowledge I decide to install the new battery myself. It actually was pretty easy once I figured out to not touch the red and black prongs at the same time.The red connector (see top photo) was so corroded with acid, it wouldn't pop off! I had to turn to the all-American beverage of choice to help me out. Why buy expensive chemicals that could remove the acid when you can use a can of Coke? And the best part, once I was done dissolving the solidified battery acid, I was able to drink the rest of the can! It was like a 2 for 1 bonus night! So me and my mad car skills were able to install that battery no problem and the car runs grand. No funny noises, no flashing lights. I just need to bring the old battery back to the store I bought the new one from for some environmental surcharge refund and they are going to do a quick scan on my electrical system too just to be safe.

Not really sure about how the Bible verse fits in with this post, but there is no mention of Coke or batteries in the Bible, so I had to stretch it. See, He allowed me to change my battery, that is a new thing! And I didn't get zapped!

Consider the ant...

2008-08-12T11:01:00.002-07:00

Proverbs 6:6 1-12
Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!

My next Halloween costume

I was considering the ant at lunch today, yesterday, last week, and many past lunches. What? Well, on good days and when my meal didn't require heating up, I like to go outside and sit on the bench out front and look down as I eat and watch the ants. They are so amazing - so fast! They are my friends who don't make me talk to them (remember, I'm agoraphobic so I don't like eating in the break room). So whenever I'm out there, I like to drop a few crumbs or some sort of food for them. They really like it! Last week I dropped down a chunk of watermelon. There was one who scurried up and when he ran into the chunk of fruit bounced back a few inches instantly. He continued this dance with the fruit for about a minute until another ant approached and he started ramming into the new friend until he decided to run away to the grassy area. For the next 15 minutes an ant would come by and nibble then run away. Then right before I left there came a constant stream of ants that somehow found their way to the fruit. The next day, the piece was still there, but it was covered with ants! There were at my best estimate about 75-100 little ants scurrying around. Awesome!

Who doesn't?

Yesterday, I dropped a chunk of jelly from my pb&j sandwich and they freaked out at that too. Scurry scurry speed walk! There were more ants yesterday around to begin with so I was able to say hello and share the jelly with a lot of them at once. Of course more came as the time ticked away. One thing that was curious, besides the random ant trying to head-butt the jelly or watermelon was that they would finally settle and stand perfectly still in front of the meal. I would tap my foot next to them and they wouldn't move and keep staring at it. Crazy. So I thought I had found the coolest thing. Their favorite food! Until today!

Not your daddy's ant farm

What would an ant like more than a sweet, sugary food? I never would have guessed that Pringles would have topped that list. I know you're thinking, "Brett, seriously - you are ridiculous, why do you feed the ants?" Well, I dunno. It's fun though. I used to have an ant farm. Haha, remember those? Anyways, so I broke off a piece of the Pringle and dropped some crumbs next to the jelly chunk the ants were still eating today. Once the dude stopped head-butting the crumbs he grabbed a piece and took off like the cops were chassing him! Then another ant that was staring at the jelly and decided to turn around and see what this was behind him. He grabbed a crumb and also took off. It was really funny, they all just took turns and grabbed a piece and ran away! Soon there weren't any ant friends left. Perhaps the ants are like me when it comes to food? I'll eat a ton of sweets and soon enought, all I want to have is nothing but a salty snack. Yeah, I'm guessing that's the deal.

My Aplogies

2008-08-08T06:51:00.003-07:00

James 1: 1-12
(1)Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. (2)We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
(3)When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. (4)Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. (5)Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. (6)The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
(7)All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, (8)but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
(9)With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. (10)Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. (11)Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? (12)My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

It's been pointed out to me that I am and have been in the wrong. No sugar coating it. I've been in the wrong. I can use all the excuses I want to justify my writings, but the fact is Jesus doesn't want to hear any of that. It has been made clear, quite clear, all throughout the Bible that I'll be held accountable to what I say, and I'm going to take that a step past literal and apply that to what I write as well.

I'm actually kind of sickened by myself. Perhaps 3 people who would read my past blogs would laugh and could hear me speaking the posts with the odd sense of humor I have. They would understand that I'm really not hateful, spiteful, arrogant or the bastard that comes across. I'm not making excuses or trying to justify my posts. Perception is reality. If my posts come across as spiteful, angry or whatever the adjective you want to use, that's what the post is. My intention is not the reality anymore. Communication is what is heard, not what is said. I went back and read a few of my posts and I'm sitting there thinking to myself, "What the heck was I doing! This really isn't funny, how did I think I was being amusing!"

Really, the only thing I can do now is apologize for my attitude that came through. I'm not perfect, but I certainly should be more conscious of my words and thoughts! I will be sure that any future posts are worded in a way where there can be no confusion about my intention of the topic.

Thanks for reading and accept my apology,
Brett Goodlin

Because these people are nasty

2008-08-07T13:21:00.004-07:00

No, I'm not talking about the nasty bathroom people. This nasty problem goes back to my first blog about my coffee pot at work.

If you read that you may have been amused and thinking, "Oh, Brett, you are just over reacting. Just share your coffee pot, no big deal."

I knew there was something more than just my snobbishness and anti-social personality. Last Friday there came a resolve, and today even more proof that I will never let these.... what's the word.... uh, eeww!... people use my stuff.

Rewind to last Friday, August 1, 2008. I'm sitting at my desk waiting for the next call to arrive when Allen walks around the corner with a coffee pot in each hand. I recognize them as 'the other's' machines and wonder why he has coffee in them. He came closer and offered me a spot of coffee and as I look at him with a look of "thanks, but get that crap out of my face". He ignores my response and holds the pots closer to me so I can see. What's this? Coffee with floaties? Who puts floaties in their coffee? No! Wait! These floaties were patches of MOLD! How long does coffee mold! Well, I know how - it's nasty coffee! But who keeps unused coffee sitting in their coffee pot long enough to mold? (The picture to the right is not the actual coffee pots we had here, but that is exactly what it looked like inside!)

So, Allen put the pots into the sink and filled with soap assuming the owners would wash them out. Oops, they forgot to do that. It's 6 days later (granted, 2 days were weekends) and the coffee pots were still sitting in the sink today with sudsy water still! Whatever! I dumped them out and put the pots below the sink in the cabinets. They don't deserve to be used. After I put them away, I had a thought. If the pots still had coffee liquid that had floating mold chunks, what could the filter possibly look like with all the moist grounds sitting there for over a week. I opened the door and was greeted with a blanked to grayish fuzz. My camera phone does not do justice to how horrible this looks. Seriously, would you use this filter again even if you cleaned it up?

Why do I work with such gross people? I'm not gross though. Nothing I do is gross. I am perfect, pretty much the best thing ever really. Basically....

Crying over spilt.... water?

2008-08-01T10:53:00.002-07:00

Goodness! How crazy of a night last night! We got all set to watch So You Think You Can Dance and it was hot so I got a cup of water handy to drink. We also had put Maya in her little swing to take a nap time bedtime sleep type rest. She got a bit fussy when her pacifier fell out. So instead of standing right in front of her so she could see me, I snuck up behind and popped in the pasi. That being done I fell backwards again to my seat. The only problem was that I kicked over my cup of water! Well, at least it was water! Haha, so I'm soaking up the water and doing what I can with the small towel I had. When I was satisfied with the soakage up, I placed a dry towel over the wetspot to keep it from collecting dust as it dried and staining the carpet darker.

Good, that was a nice time filler. So I bound up from my crouch to throw the wet towels into the laundry room. As I am bouncing backwards, I feel a thump on my foot and look down to see that I kicked over a new cup of water Jenni had prepared while I was soaking up the first spill. Ha! What in the world! So I cleaned that up and placed a towel over the wet spot again on this mess.

Show is just about over and Jenni comes into the room and picks up the 2nd towel I laid down and made a comment how it was already dry. "Wow" I though, "that was fast" So I reach down to my feet where the towel was from my first spill to pick it up and check to see if the carpet was dry in that spot yet. I felt the towel and lifted it up, only to hear the noise of ice and water spilling out of a cup - AGAIN!Publish Post

I don't know what was going on with me! I set the 3rd cup of water on top of the towel to remind myself where it was.... Good grief! 3 spilled cups of water in less than an hour!

I sure did feel stupid last night.

Irony or some other word

2008-07-29T11:41:00.004-07:00

This last Saturday was a busy day. I woke up at 4:15Am to hike up some mountains. That was a good time. Lots of photos and videos on my Flickr and YouTube pages. Amazingly enough, when I returned home, I was awake enough to go over to some friend's house and have dinner. They live over in Banning Lewis Ranch (a nice, new neighborhood). It was a nice time, they are old neighbors from the town homes. Anyways, the neighborhood has a community center with a heated pool and grills and some picnic areas. It also turned out to be movie night and they were showing The Sandlot later that night on big screen they set up by the pool. Maya loved the water this time.

"So what's the possible ironic thing" you ask. I'm getting there antsy pantsy person. Ok, so there must have been some sort of little bugs that came out at night that liked my feet, because I got about 6 bites on my feet, some between my toes and the bottom of my foot even! They got so itchy on my feet because when I walk, my socks move and scratch the bites, further irritating them! Last night was the worst it had been. I was scratching crazy, but since I don't fingernails it wasn't as satisfying to itch. You know, when you get a bite, it just feels soooooo good to itch it? Well, I was desperate to keep itching it and stop itching it all at the same time. So what did I do? I went to the bathroom and got a tube of cortizone cream to rub on the bites to make it not itchy.

Oh, but what's this? The end of the tube has a flat, rough feel to it. I was overwhelmed with curiosity to find out how this would feel as a tool to scratch my bites. GLORIOUSLY! Oh, it was practically heaven as I scratched away layers of skin. As I was laying on the bed in 2/3 bliss, I realized I was using a tube of anti-itch cream to itch my bug bites. That struck me as odd. Would this be irony or some other English work I don't know? Either way, it was the best thing of the night! Oh, I can't wait to go home and scrub away!

Restroom problems

2008-07-23T13:27:00.004-07:00

As you can see, I usually include some photos in each blog. I won't for this one. You will be happy about that. I'm writing about the men's bathroom on the 4th floor here at work.

It is really a nasty hell hole. It reminds me at times of the bathroom at my high school. I've had enough and I cannot hold off any longer. It's gross, and here are only a few of the instances I've come across:

I walked in one morning around 8:30 to brush my teeth. Oh, looks like I won't be going anywhere close to taking out my toothbrush because there is bloody chunks of mucus all over the counter and sink handles! Who spews bloody chunks all over a counter and doesn't clean it up? It's not like that could be passed off as an accident where he didn't know he expelled blood out of his mouth and nose. You can't not know you just possibly spread vial diseases all over!
Twice now, that I've noticed, I've seen boogers stuck to the wall in front of the urinals. I'm sure I've missed a lot of them because the walls are that textured paint and they kind of blend in. But who picks their nose while they are peeing and slimes the wall in front of them with it? See, I ruled me out of that by adding 'slimes the wall'. I'm not above picking a good boog, but I'm not about to wipe it on any thing, especially at work!
Poop stains! Ok, so someone didn't do a double flush and there are some skid marks in the toilet, whatev'. I can live with that. But for some reason, I have a hard time with poop stains on the seat of the toilet. You see, my bare butt rests on these seats, and if there is poop on there, well, there's a problem with that. I've not noticed any pee splashes, that would seem more common. Poop stains instead! Another variation of the poop stain I've run into in these last few weeks is the used, poopy toilet paper piece sitting on the seat. Not the greatest.
One of the worst, however, is nothing that can be seen with the naked eye. There is this guy who uses the toilet at least 2x per day and his butt stinks up the entire restroom. The automatic air freshener cannot keep up with his rot! There is something wrong with this guy! Just today, I was in the bathroom making poo, when I hear him walk in. Yes, I can hear him. He enters the stall next to me and is breathing all sorts of out of breath. Must be hard to walk to the bathroom. But as soon as I realize who that is, I'm put my phone back in my pocket, stop texting people for the time being and get out of there as fast as I can before the rank fills my nose and I pass out and hit my head on the floor that has who knows what on it!
Sometimes a guy may splash on the toilet rim or sprinkle it with some mis-aimed spray, but how does a guy miss a urinal? Good question. A toilet is a small, round opening roughly 2 feet away from, well, {cough} yeah. Plenty of room for error in the guys calculus computations of angle and velocity. A urinal, however, is a large, wide and tall opening that a guy walks up to and with normal stance (a non-Minnesota airport stance) the guy should be no more than 3 inches away from the receptacle. So, with the knowledge of that, how does a guy miss the urinal and spill dirty, dark yellow urine on the floor! Crazy, I know! A secondary complaint about the urinals is that they are sometimes mammal urinals. I think I may have just made that phrase up, but the idea there is that it's all hairy like a mammal You can apply that to soap too. When you're in the shower and go to grab the bar of soap and it's all hairy. You then realize your brother was in the shower before you and that just ruins your day, however you sigh in relief that you noticed before you started rubbing the soap on your face.

So, friends, just because I work at a professional office place, apparently, that doesn't mean guys are any cleaner, more careful, or civil than a rowdy 10th grader. Freaking crap! I have to go pee now and I don't want to here! Ah! I can't wait till I get home though.....

Travels & Headaches

2008-07-14T06:50:00.006-07:00

The 4th of July was fun...

We drove out to Kansas City early (early) Friday morning to visit my brother, sister-in-law, and niece, Ella. We made it there early afternoon and parked in his driveway. Turns out we needed to move my car a bit later, so I pulled out of the driveway and parked in the street only to find an oil stain where my car was parked. What? No, my car is too new to leak oil, what could this be?

(rewind 1 week)

70,000 miles on the Civic. Time for some maintenance. I drop the car off Wednesday night at the repair place, tell them I just need the 70K maintenance (oil change) and I probably will be needing breaks since I'm still on my original set. They tell me I'll get a call tomorrow (Thursday) with what's going on. I hear nothing from them on Thursday. Friday mid-morning they finally call me and tell me I need new front breaks (OK), an oil change (OK), and the service for transmission (not OK). I informed him that I didn't buy that because they were the ones who performed that service (allegedly) on my car 10K miles ago. He didn't believe me, so he said he'd call me back. That's mark 2 against them this this service time. Of course I get a call back in about an hour saying I was right, it had been done, he was just looking on the wrong work order (BS) and they'll start the brakes and oil change. I pick the car up Friday afternoon and on my way home, over the weekend, and throughout the next week leading up to the 4th, there's a foul smell of burning plastic/exhaust/gross car smell. I ask a friend who does a lot with cars if that's normal when you get your brakes replaced. He said yes because I'm probably burning off the gunk the factories put on the pads to keep them happy until they are installed on a car. It's gross, but whatever, it'll go away soon I figure.

(back to the 4th in Kansas City)

As my car is parked in front of Travis' house I carefully lower myself to look underneath the car to see anything that might look odd (like I would know what I'm looking for anyways). As I looked, I saw the parts of my car dripping and we with oil. Not good! I do know where the oil pan is and the pan still had the bolt keeping everything in there. Where was this oil coming from? I went to pop the hood (again, like I would know what I was looking for) and was shocked out of my mind with what I saw. As you can see in the picture there's a lot of oil all over my engine and car parts. Next to that orange thing is a hole. What is supposed to be plugging that hole is an oil cap. The cap was sitting in a nook towards the top of the hood area, where the mechanic left it when he did my oil change (mark #3 against them for this service). So I drove for a week in Colorado Springs, and then about 600 miles through Colorado and Kansas without a cap on my oil compartment thing. The oil splashed out over the time and dripped upon the hot engine and exhaust to create that unsavory smell of burning we experienced for a week. Thankfully, it only splashed out a little at a time and the place overfilled the engine because when I tested the level, it was maybe a quart low. Not too bad considering. But I was pretty upset. I won't be going back to that shop.

Anyways, Travis and I went to buy some explosives since it was the 4th of July and in Missouri, basically anything is legal (where we were). We drove to one fireworks stand and looked around. Nothing great as far a deals went. I was surprised, it was around 5pm on the 4th of July and they didn't have good sales yet? I wasn't about to to pay $25 for some firecrackers! There was a funny thing at the first tent we went to. There was a Britany Spears bomb. It was pretty funny, it had her picture on it, most likely unauthorized being that these fireworks were all made there, and it said something funny too. I don't remember exactly. The second tent we went to had some good deals, but I wasn't about to pay over $20. I offered them $20 for the $30 of merchandise and they got all offended and the cashier lady was all sorts of loud and obnoxious about it. I said, 'Forget it then, bye.' and we walked away. We finally went to a 3rd and final tent that had some really good deals finally. Tons of buy 1 get 1 specials, and the best purchase of the night (save for those awesome glasses I'm wearing to the right) was 2000 black cats for $13.00. It was two big rolls of a solid 1000 strung together. I unrolled it in the street (see picture) and it was over 10ft long and was exploding for at least 2 minutes strait. AWESOME!

So the 4th was fun, but the real reason for the trip wasn't just to see my brother, it was to visit my grandma Pratt so she could meet her great-granddaughter Maya the Buddle. We drove out to Jefferson City, MO Saturday morning and hung out at Grandma's for a few hours and we just all talked. My uncle Dave and wife Louise showed up too, so that was fun for us to show them our baby. Later that evening, we all headed over to my Aunt Amy's house and we all had a little BBQ. It was a bit sad for me, because I was with my mom's family (except 2 of her brothers), and she wasn't there to celebrate with us.

After Saturday's adventures, we drove a bit more to head down to the Lake of the Osarks to visit my Grandma Pike. One the way there, probably 10 minutes away, Ella just spewed up vomit in the car. It was hot that day and the temperature sure didn't help the smell. Ooohh! That was rank! So we finally made it to Grandma's and we had some lunch and sat around chatting for a bit. She has a boat and let us take it out onto the lake. That was fun. Travis drove the whole time because I'm the little brother still. Ppllbbtt! We were out on the lake for about a hour then came back and went to the pool because that water is clean unlike the lake. We're at the pool, Ella didn't have her life vest on yet and we're setting our stuff down. None of us are looking towards the pool but we hear a splash. We hear a faint "You should help her" from a couple of the kids hanging out in the pool. What does that mean? I turn around and Ella is in the pool, no life vest, smiling all sorts of huge.... and sinking all at the same time. It was the funniest, scariest thing we saw that trip. Of course Shanna dumped right in and grabbed her. Turns out Ella didn't have a special swimming diaper on either and when she got out of the pool her butt was HUGE saggy. It was really funny.

So the lake day was over, we went back to Grandma's house and said our good byes and started our 3 hour trek back to Travis'. Ella puked again on the way home, also 10 minutes away from our destination. All in all, it was a great trip. The drive time sucked worse than ever, especially for Maya who was stuck in her car seat for so many hours we didn't want to drive anywhere the rest of the week because we didn't want to put her into the car seat again. She is over it by now, but we dread any long drives now.

What I've learned from the corporate world

2008-07-02T08:14:00.002-07:00

There is a lot of stuff I don't know. I'm always learning. Many times I'm learning by trial and error, and by making mistakes. There are a couple things in particular I would like to share with the world. Perhaps you will be able to learn from me the oddity of corporate politics and save yourself a headache (or two).

One thing I've learned is that it is OK for a grumpy, menopausal lady to get sassy and rude with you, but it's not OK to call her on it. For example, please refer to the following email thread.

Brett (6/23 11:07AM) : (email attachment form to create account)
J.S. (6/25 7:06AM) : "Brett, Did you mean for this to go to the EFT folder?"
Brett (6/25 7:07AM) : "I’m not sure where it needs to go. She said she mailed the form in with a payment ...{secret, internal references}...since that is what she wanted (from the appeal) I was to use this form, and I used the comments so the money could be moved and applied as she wished ...{secret, internal references}...
J.S. (6/25 7:39AM) : What is this sponsor’s name and con#?
Brett (6/25 7:45AM) : Here is a copy of the form with the sponsors info
J.S. (6/25 7:52AM) : When we open this form, it contains no sponsor information. We have absolutely no information (sponsor information or instructions on what you want done) on the original request. So, again, what is the sponsor’s name and con#?
Brett (6/25 7:59AM) : It’s not my fault that cheeseball of a form doesn’t read correctly. Voice inflection and body language do not translate through email, so I don’t know if you are getting snippy with me or what so be aware of that ...{secret, internal references}...

Later that day I get an IM from my supervisor to come talk with her once I am done with the current call I'm on. J.S. decided she didn't like how I called her out and 'turned me in' to my supervisor rather than work things out directly with me like a flipping coward! Somehow, I got in trouble for this and had to apologize to the lady. Did I hear anything from her? No. I guess I'm not old enough.

Another thing I learned is that it isn't acceptable to trade your monitor with a better quality monitor that is and has been sitting in an empty cube not being used for over 5 months. It's best that the piece of equipment not be used.

Isn't that great! I hope you have learned from my "mistakes" and won't follow suit!

A little this, a little that

2008-06-24T07:03:00.003-07:00

Starbucks

To start I'd like to make an pure American complaint. Of course we can never be grateful or satisfied with what we have. I'd like to complain about a luxury. Haha, but seriously, if I'm going to pay $3.50+ for a drink (that's a problem in itself) it had better be how I like it, yeah? Or if I'm on my way into work but I have to drop off baby first and I leave early so I can have extra time to stop by Starbucks and get a drink they shouldn't take 10 minutes in the drive through. Oh Brett, you're exaggerating. Not at all. I timed it! I was late to work this morning. So what if I had a free coupon for this drink, it didn't taste as good as it should because the lateness was haunting my mind. And the dumb Starbucks I went to traps you in the line. If I wanted to change my mind, there would be no way for me to leave anyways because I'm trapped between the cars in front and behind me! New person working the cash register. Stupid. Stupid dummy.

Reload my Starbucks Card for me (click here)

My Card Number :: 6045566408216893

Express Jet (XJT)

I purchased some Express Jet stock last year after they went public and Jenni was impressed with their flights and service. I didn't do the best research in looking into the purchase, but I figured the other bargain airlines were in the $10-$20 range. My cost basis for my XJT stock is $309. My market value of my stock is $50 right now. That isn't a good thing to see. A loss of $250 isn't the best to see. However, right now, it's sitting at $0.88 per share! Could it really get any lower? I don't know, but the trend over the past few months has been a daily up and down, so I am considering buying a few hundred dollars worth again (at this cheap $0.88 price) and in the next few days when it spikes back up to $1.50 or $2.00 that would double my investment and I could finally break even and then pull all my money out. I'm debating it.

Lunch
I forgot to bring my lunch today. However, I have a stash of food at my desk for cases such as today. Also I sometimes get snacky during the afternoon, so I have an entire filing cabinet filled with food here. Chips, cans of soup, cookies, granola, coffee, honey and and peanut butter are just a few of the emergency back ups I have. Today I'm feasting on a can of chicken noodle soup and the rest of a can of pringles. Not the best, I'm getting a sweet tooth attack as I type now. I think I'm going to need a soda for a couple reasons.

Caffeine
I tell you what, I don't know how Jenni is surviving w/out having some caffeine. I'm almost always tired from this baby of ours and I sleep though the night, I am able to drink coffee and the like to extract the caffeine to keep me going. Jenni does not sleep the night away nor is she consuming the caffeine! It's ridiculous this caffeine I have going on. I'm at the point where I need it, more than once per day. I need some coffee in the morning, and then again in the afternoon and sometimes at night now. I remember about a year ago, I would have a soda for dinner around 6pm and I wouldn't be able to get to sleep at night because the caffeine was keeping me up. I drank a Coke last night at 7pm and I felt no effects and when I laid down for bed I straight passed out! What's a boy to do? I'm going to go and get a Mountain Dew now! Woooo! (zzzzzzzzz)

Florida 2008 (pt. 4)

2008-06-21T15:22:00.002-07:00

We're done. On our way back. I'm writing this in the airport waiting to board our plane as well as being on the plane I'm sure. Possibly uploading it in Dallas during our layover if they have wireless access. What happened yesterday, I'm sure you're wondering. All 3 of you. I'll give a final overview of our last day as well as a few more random things.

Beach Time
Our final day in Florida and we spent a good amount of time on the beach. We were able to get the cute cabana boys to set up our shaded chairs with an extra umbrella. It was a good day out on the beach. It was sunny and hot, but there was a pleasant breeze blowing off the ocean to keep the shaded temperature just wonderful. Maya was the treasure of the day again. Being all good and happy for everyone. Since this was going to be our last day at the beach, I had to get my annual “Jenni and Brett” sand thing made. This was the 4th year I've made it. It' isn't anything big or spectacular, just fun making letters in the sand, and this year we got to add a Maya to the list. Since I've done it for 3 years now I've been able to learn something each time. This year, I built a gutter to catch any rouge wave that might decide to wash up at my creation. I've also implemented the use of multiple applications of sun screen to prevent the horrid burn of 2003. After the build we got a couple pictures and I went to lay in the ocean. I walked out about 50 yards and just turned up and floated on my back with my face poking out of the water. I rode the gentle waves back to shore and then walked back out to float again.

Dinner Time
We were all able to get together for our last night and go to dinner together. Before we left, we were able to get our 3rd annual 'On the Beach with Normal Clothes' picture since the Dr. was running late. For dinner we chose a place called Columbia. It was located “in town” on the small round-about town square type thing and has been on one of the corners there since 1905, family owned. It was good food. Huge dining area. The menu was huge too, I couldn't imagine how big their kitchen had to have been! Being on the coast with the fresh seafood, I had to try to get my fill while we were here. I ordered the Marisco Diablo. That is Spanish for Seafood Devil. I was expecting it to be spicy hot. Not at all, it was deliciously flavored with linguine noodles and the “diablo” had to refer to the amount of seafood in the dish. There was so much food there, only Satan could have the gluttonous sin of eating it all. I did eat a few bites of the noodles, but I soon found out that there was way too much seafood to eat to waste my belly space on noodles. Meats consumed were as follows: 4 muscles and 3 clams in the shells, 4 big scallops, 4 large pieces of lobster tail chunks, 3 giant shrimp, and 5 smaller cocktail sized shrimp. The best meal of the trip by far! Keeping in the spirt of the atmosphere, I ordered some sangria. Never had it before so I wasn't sure what to expect. When it came out served with a straw and 3 pieces of fruit sitting on top of the floating ice I thought, “Oh, its like fruit punch!” Since there was a straw and I'm thinking fruit punch, I take a big draw and almost choke. Woah, not at all what I was expecting. Not fruit punch. It was red wine and some other liquid. If it wasn't called 'sangria' I would have felt like white trash drinking wine out of a straw with ice. No time for desert though because we had to get back to the resort for the 'talent' show.

The Night
Talent show was dumb. People performed bad skits and read everything off cards.

The Airplane
I don't like going to the bathroom on the airplanes. They call them lavatories for one. Two, they usually always stink (I didn't do anything in my visit to help the next person with this problem either though, ha!). Third, they are just really small and crowded. Fourth, the sinks are like public park bathrooms where you have to hold down the button to get water. It's so hard to wash and rinse your hands one hand at a time. But what can I do? I ate a heaping pile of seafood last night, ate a whole grain bagel this morning and drank a cup of coffee. I'm on a 3 hour flight. I gots to go! Our seats are right behind the first class cabin the bulk head (we pulled the “we have a baby, can we sit here” card). What restroom do I use? The one 6 rows ahead of me or the one 25 rows behind me? Yeah, I'm going up front to the pooper. I do my thing and poke my head out slowly as to not hit anyone who may be standing near the door. I may have stunk the room up, but at least I'm courteous. As I 'm about to walk back to my seat one of the stewardess stops me and gives me the lamest excuse about why I shouldn't use this bathroom. “Oh, hey, just an FYI for future reference. You're fine now but for future reference we'd prefer if you use the restroom in the back. I know you're just sitting right there, but we need to try to keep this area clear for safety reasons.” What the heck does that mean?! First off, I know I'm good now. You want me to go back in there and reach down the hole into the puddle of blue liquid and grab my poo and deposit it into the toilet back there? Next, no one was standing there waiting for me to get done, and I wasn't standing there waiting to enter. I saw the last person exit the room, and when they got back to their seat (in the bulkhead row across the isle from me) I stood up and walked up there. Did someone in first class complain that one of those peasants was occupying their restroom and they had to wait! I mean, if that was the case, and it could have been because they all were served a toasty and delicious breakfast (I know because watched them all get served) and may have had a bathroom attack from the overly processed egg. But if I'm not to use the “First Class” restroom, then put a bloody curtain between the sections like other airlines. Or charge me to use it. “Sir, you are free to use the restroom on the complete opposite side of the airplane, but if you want to use the one just a few feet from you, that will be a $5 usage fee chargeable to your credit card.” They charge stinkin' fees for everything else! Why not for this “convince”? Or it could be they have a gauge in their galley area and saw that I flushed twice and didn't want my stank butt to come back up there because they didn't say anything to the other 5 people that walked up there to use it.

A Few Random Things

Monkey birds. I'm going to miss hating the monkey birds. What are monkey birds? They are a species of sea gull that like to hang out at the pool and beach with us. They aren't monkeys that fly like in Return to Oz with the wheels for hands. Scary! They are birds that scream like monkeys “Oohhhh aha ah ah ah ah” just like if we were in the jungle.
Weird road signs. There were a few signs along the road that I wasn't sure what they meant. “Fog Smoke”. Yeah, a square, yellow sign that had “Fog” on one line with “Smoke” centered below it. No other explanation. Another weird sign read “Long Bridge Check Gas”. That scared me! How long is this bridge? Is there something horrible that happens if you run out of gas on the bridge versus running out on the highway between gas stations? Do they have killer manatees circling the pillars ready to jump out and attack people who get out of their cars?
Sleeping in. Work is going to suck next week when I have to wake up butt early again and not have the luxury of sleeping in any longer. Jenni still hasn't had a full nights sleep yet. She is glad I won't be able to sleep in anymore because she's jealous and doesn't know how to be happy for me.
Food we left. I left 4 Snicker's Ice Cream bars in the freezer in our room because we didn't eat them and certainly couldn't pack them. Also a jar of salsa, a bag of shredded cheese, a can of Pringles and 3 sticks of butter.
Jenni can't ride a bike
You have to pay for internet service at Dallas-Fort Worth airport! Jerks!

Florida 2008 (pt. 3)

2008-06-20T09:15:00.003-07:00

Friday morning. This is our last day here! Wow, it has certainly gone by fast. Seems like we just got here. Maya doesn't want to leave. She told me. I asked her this morning and she gave me a look that I knew deep down she understood and was saying, “I want to stay here until I'm not a baby anymore and can appreciate what dry heat is like. Until then, let's stay here.”

The Pool Time
We were going to go play on jet skis yesterday, but we didn't have anyone to watch the baby. Turns out that no one was able to go yesterday because the guy we were to rent them from (for $75/hr) didn't get them returned by the people before us in time, so we were out of luck anyways. Since we weren't going on the jet skis, Jenni joined a couple of the girls and rode the bikes offered free by the resort. I hung out with baby by the pool in one of those circle, shaded kingly recliners. She was a bit fussy for a while because, by my estimation, it was too hot for her to sleep in. We would sprinkler her with water here and there, but she hatted that more than anything. Once the sun went behind this part of the building there was good shade and we hung out with her by the shower where you rinse off after being at the beach before you get in the pool. But the pool was salt water anyways. That was a big shock for me. I was not expecting salty when I took my head out of the water. First I thought I was sweating like a bugger, but then when it didn't go away I realized it was salt water pool. Weird. Later in the afternoon Maya got hungry so Jenni fed her down by the pool and it looked really funny because Jenni's Hooter Hider looked like a cape and that was all she was wearing.

Dinner Time
We were at the pool for hours though. From about 12:45 until 5 something. Dinner time was coming up and we were all not in agreement what to do, so Jenni and I searched and found a Sweet Tomatoes close by but no one wanted to come. It was pretty easy taking a baby to a buffet. We didn't feel rushed and I was able to eat the most random assortment of food. What is it about buffets that cause people to eat the most random food? Is it that there is the most random amounts of food available? Is it that we are free to be pigs and no one will question us? Vanilla pudding, chili, salad bar, pizza, grapes? But I ate it all, and of course the extra bowl of the ice cream out of the machine. What's a trip the a buffet without the ice cram machine. However, I could tell we were in Old People Florida because there was pistachio flavored ice cream. Eeww!

Rich and Snobby
Muuuhahahaha. What's a stay at a schmantzy hotel without some Champagne and bath robes? Luckily, we didn't have to search far because our room was equipped with both! Robes were hanging in the closet, Champagne was under the TV in the liquor cabinet. The Champagne, however was way too over priced so we opted to be stuck-up with apple juice and Miller Light (not mixed together though). But who could tell? Muuahahaha. Why yes, I do believe I will see you on the green for our 7AM tee time tomorrow. Muuahahaha.

Something Random
Nate wore a shirt once that said "Ohio is for Lovers". Well, I say "Florida is for Old People". I havn't been to any of the souviner shops yet, but I don't imagine they have any of those tee shirts made. It's funny. Not only do we see alot of old people, but we see the "stuff" of old people. Doesn't matter if we're driving in a Grand Marquis (rental car) or noticing the benches every 15 feet in the shopping district because walking from store to store to buy nasty, strong perfume is exhausting. The funniest I've seen so far was in our hotel room. I supose the hotel is too cheap to buy the "I've fallen and can't get up" necklace for all of their guests, but they do have a telephone installed next to the toilet. I don't imagine it's because many of their guests have the need to order a pizza while taking a dump, but rather incase someone breaks their hip as they taking their Metamucil poop. Oh the fun.

Florida 2008 (pt. 2)

2008-06-19T09:23:00.008-07:00

Today is going to be a little different. It started to thunderstorm last night and continued along off and on throughout the early morning. Now, it's 11:15AM and there isn't any sky out and it's sprinkling. The weather forcast says it was a 30% chance for today. Slim chance, but a chance none the less. Besides to overcast, windy weather (which is actually nice right now as I sit on our balcony writing this) Jenni was sick again last night and called in sick to her meeting this morning. So she's sitting here with the Maya and I drinking my apple juice. Seriously Jenni, just go get your own. I poured you a glass inside!

Beach Time

Once Jenni got home yesterday we got our stuff together and walked out to the beach. It was “beach volleyball” day. Notice the quotes. That's because what we played doesn't deserve the full, illustrious name of beach volleyball. Some lady picked the teams for us, made everyone serve underhand, gave out do-overs, and kept changing the teams and having us switch sides. Not to mention a few of us were quite competitive and the rest of the people weren't, or they were and they just sucked. I'm competitive but I'm not the one who will take over the entire side of the court to hit every ball like a couple of the participants. I'm more of the passive aggressive, get annoyed, and just walk off competitive person when it comes to situations where my team sucks butt. One of my favorite parts was little Maya's first trip to the beach. She fit into her swimsuit and was almost the cutest ever (the cutest ever came later that day). Jenni found a little sun hat and some sun glasses for her too. Oh, my little bug, I just wanted to squish here with love. Since Jenni was still recovering from the first day of being sick (see yesterday's post) she hung out with Maya in the beach tent umbrella type thing. I stuck around to pose for a few pictures, but I wanted to go explore the ocean. Plus my chest is whiter than God's beard in Revelation so I didn't want to have too many photos. So, about the ocean, I almost died apparently. When I go to the ocean, I like to walk out as far as possible until I cannot touch anymore then ride the waves back to shore. I kept walking, and walking and I was still touching. I finally stopped and turned around to see how far out I was. I was roughly 250-300 yards out to sea, still in upper-chest/shoulder deep water. Wow, I was out there, so I started bouncing my way back since the waves sucked (1 point for the Atlantic). The whole time I was wading out, I kept my eyes sharp and daring here and there for sharks, ready to punch it in the face if it got close. I wasn't going to take any crap from those fish, I was ready to wrestle it and catch it with my bare hands. Freaking shark! Makes me mad again just recounting my mental preparedness I had yesterday. But alas, no shark got close enough for me to scream like a girl and forget everything I was getting ready for if one did come close. I got back and as I was chatting with some of the people we came with and they were amazed how far out I was. Turns out, 3 people died out there this year already. Just a bit further from where I was there is a color change in the water to a deeper blue. That color is a trench dug out so boats can make it into the harbor just to the east of where we were . That trench provides for quite a rip current apparently and if I would have kept wandering off I would have gotten sucked into it and propelled for about ½ mile until I drowned or hit some boat rudders. Ouch!

The Rest of the Day

After the volleyball time Jenni and I decided to in because Jenni was getting overheated. Apparently sitting in the shade on a beach chair is more exhausting and hot than playing volleyball and almost dying like I was busy doing, but I was about ready anyways. No waves makes for a boring beach day for Brett. On our way back to the room, we walked by the pool and decided to give Maya a 2nd chance at having fun in the water (she didn't enjoy it at all when she was in California a few weeks prior).

She didn't seem to mind it at all this time until I got her a bit too far in and got her diaper soaking wet. Back to the room and a little bath for Maya to get the sunscreen off of her because she was starting to break out. Then Jenni and Maya passed out gone. It was shortly after 3 when they went down and not until 5:30 did they wake up. Hurry, because at 6pm was an informal welcome reception for the conference down by the pool. This is where the cutest ever came about. We had this little dress for Maya that she wore and everyone loved it. At the reception we didn't really meet other people, all of us just picked a table and sat down and just chatted for hours. No, seriously, hours. 2 ½ to be as close to accurate as I could be. We were still sitting there when everyone else had left and they servers were putting the tables away and folding up all the umbrellas. We were getting hungry too, so eventually a couple of the ladies just got up and said they have to go get a bite. Jenni and I didn't go with them because we didn't think paying $60 for a Caesar salad, a burger, and a couple of drinks was a good way to spend our money. We opted to go explore the city and find something to eat. We jumped in the car and drove out of Longboat Key and into Sarasota, FL and finally found a nice outdoor (there was no choice actually, this place didn't have an indoor, only the kitchen) restaurant that served a burger. That was al Jenni wanted, a burger. Ok we get a seat and it starts to pour rain! Wow, this was awesome! It was warm still. The servers were prepared because as soon as the rain came, they lowered these plastic tarp deals to shield the water from coming in. But when I got settled and looked at the menu, they had burger. Not burgers. It was deceptive because the section heading on the menu said “Burgers, Salads and Entrees”. But there was only burger. So I ended up ordering a grilled calamari salad. Never had the stuff grilled, but if I can slurp an oyster, I can certainly try some grilled calamari. It was the most interesting salad I'd ever had. There was more calamari than lettuce or lettuce type product (you know how the fancy places will use sidewalk weeds and tree leaves instead of spinach or lettuce). The calamari was chewy, but the dressing/sauce on the 'salad' was amazing! They served it with the rings and the body part of the calamari. It was the best non-salad salad I've ever had! Once it was all gone except for a bite or two, I noticed there was one of my rubber bands mixed in the remaining pile of salad. I have braces and I'm in the “wear rubber bands at all times except when you're eating” stage of the treatment. Notice I only found one. I took them out before I started and set them on the far edge of the plate, but I reckon somewhere along the way I scooped them into the salad mix and ate one. I wonder if I'll poop it out or is latex digestible?

Something Random

The restaurant we went to last night was small. I could tell they were trying to pack as much as possible into the space they had. When I went into the restroom to wash my hands I found this to be true even in there. I don't think I've ever seen a sink this small before! I could barely fit my hands in the basin to wash off, almost had to do one at a time! That was funny to me.

Florida 2008 (pt. 1)

2008-06-18T07:45:00.003-07:00

We are here in Florida for the 3rd year in a row.

This year, however, we didn't go to Ft. Lauderdale as we did the past two years. It's all business this year. Jenni's office has a consultant. His consulting business hosts a conference each year in Longboat Key, FL (not in the Florida Keys, it's actually a bit south of Tampa Bay). Since they were coming down here and were willing to let Maya and I tag along, we opted for this side of the state. I haven't even been to the beach yet, but I'm loving it. White sand, turquoise water and all the humidity Jenni's hair can handle. The only thing I'm going to miss is the lack of waves. I loved playing in the Atlantic last year with the big ol' waves crashing in and playing on the boogie board. On the plus side, at least I won't get eaten by buoy this year. Here is the break down of our trip so far.

The Flight

Tuesday, June 17 we left early from Colorado Springs airport to Tampa Bay with a connection in Dallas-Ft Worth. This would be Maya's second trip in an airplane and she did smashingly good this time again. No one likes a crying baby on a crowded, long flight and when there was this flight, it wasn't Maya. Jenni just kept Maya under her over-priced cape with a hair band and fed the little buddle on the take off and landing to keep her ears good. It worked and everyone was so shocked to see we had a baby around us when we were leaving the plane. I was proud. "Yeah, that's my silent kid." I do wish she would start to talk soon though! Especially after last night (details after this). Somewhere along the way Jenni got sick. We don't know really where or why. Lack of sleep? Stress of traveling? Ate something bad? Who cares really, the thing is she got sick somewhere along the way though.

The Dinner

We ate dinner at a local seafood placed called Fin and Crab. Fancy little place it was. We were all a bit perplexed about their claims to the freshest seafood available. We weren't going to disputed the fact that their seafood wasn't fresh, but the fact that they flew in their food each day. We're thinking, "yeah, you're less than a mile from the ocean and you import your food?" After we ate our foods, I figured out what they were talking about. They don't fly in all their food, just the food that isn't native to the Florida and Gulf Coast (ie, oysters and crab legs). For the food I got oysters and crab legs. Wow! Well, first, the oysters. I've never eaten them before so I thought since we're here and we're queer that... no, wait, wrong chant... let's try that again. I thought since they are available, fresh, and I'm just as crazy as can be, why not give it a try.

Amateur I was, I didn't really know what I was doing. Reading the menu trying to pick out which one to have, I realized something really gross. Each of these had a description just like a coffee or wine expert would provide in describing the tastes and subtle under-notes of the flavors. Think about how much wine you have to drink and taste to get your palate so tuned to be able to pick out the tastes in each wine. Now instead of wine, think of slurping down hundreds of oysters to get the flavors figured out! Eewww! Well, they weren't horrible. I tried them. 2 actually. 2 different flavors. You want to know what one was the best? The first one, because it was smaller. Haha, they tasted the same to me. Main course I had King Crab Legs (not the krab with the "K", we're talking real deal stuff) Amazing! They brought 4 legs out on our plate with a little dish of butter. I was thinking "Serious? Only 4 of these things? How much am I paying for this and they only give me four!" Ha, if only I knew. I eat the first one and I was thinking that they gave me enough. Them legs were fatty huge! Not like those crab legs you get at those shady Chinese buffets. Four was enough. Jenni got a chicken caesar salad (she wasn't feeling good still, but she still would have ordered it if she was feeling fine though). Being we were at a seafood restaurant, they weren't about to let her off the hook. They delivered the salad with 3 thinly sliced pickled anchovies gracing the top of her salad!

The Night

Screaming baby and sick mommy made for a long, sorrowful night for me. I didn't know what to do! Maya was screaming because she was hungry and her belly hurt too. Jenni was sick and wasn't able to feed Maya. Because of the circumstances of the traveling yesterday, Jenni got dehydrated too so she didn't have enough fluid in her body to make the milk anyways for our little one. Jenni was miserable I know. There really was nothing she could do either. Thankfully to Twitter, I was able to send out a mass text to our friends asking for prayer, and Jesus heard the prayers of not just Jenni and I, but of everyone else who said a little prayer because shortly after I sent it, Maya got quite and just was a little fussy being as hungry as she was. Jenni didn't sleep the best, but when she woke up this morning she felt so much better. She was just really hungry too since she didn't eat much yesterday.

Morning with Maya

Well she sleeps a lot, so it is more like "morning with Maya in the same room with me as I write a story and she sleeps" My morning officially started today at 9:20 when I woke up to Maya's little whimpers letting me know she was hungry. I made some coffee and as it was brewing I got dressed.

Once the coffee was ready, I took a steaming mug to the bed and picked up Maya out of the crib and fed her a bottle as I sipped some coffee. She ate it down like a champ so I set her down in the boppy and got dressed. It was really nice this morning since the sun hasn't started beating in so I turned off the AC and opened the door to our balcony and ate a bagel with the Maya. It was nice to just relax and enjoy the morning nice and slow. One of the most curious parts of my morning was when I went to brush my teeth. Jenni brought a travel/sample size of toothpaste. I brought my own too. Hers was out on the counter this morning so I thought I would just use hers. It was Crest Pro Health on the tube. Except inside the tube, it was a flashback to childhood, minus the star shaped end cap. They didn't create a new toothpaste! They just repackaged Sparkle Crest for Kids! It tasted like it, it looked like it, and it smelled like it! What a scam! I am so using my Colgate Total tonight or whenever I chose to brush my teeth again. Probably tonight.

What I enjoy

2008-06-11T07:54:00.006-07:00

There are a few things that I really enjoy and I don't think I've done a good enough job truly expressing my joys. Since I don't express too well what I truly enjoy doing, I think my comments don't get taken seriously and my time is spent doing other things. I have no priority on any of these, it just want to spend lots of my free time doing the following:

Soccer.

If I had an extra $50/month I would buy satellite TV just for the couple soccer channels available. I would love to watch the Arsenal play. I could watch the Premiership games in Europe. The World Cup is coming up in 2010 and it would be the most amazing to get to go to South Africa for the series. However, I think if I were to choose, I would want to go to the Brazil games in 2014 if I were actually able to go to any of them. I've been able to go to 2 MLS games this year up in Denver to watch the Colorado Rapids play. I was by myself for the 2nd game and I had just as much fun that time as when I went a big group. I'd buy season tickets for next year at the blink of an eye if our finances would allow. I'm sure I could find someone in Colorado Springs to carpool with. Soccer is so fun to me, I'm willing to tolerate verbal abuse and ridicule as a referee just to be close to the game. I'm actually in the midst of upgrading my referee grade so I am able to take on more higher level games.

Woodworking.

There is something about working with wood that makes me feel happy. It's a fun mix of problem solving, planning and creating. I'm not very experienced because of the lack of time I have, as well as the lack of tools to do most projects. Since they are still building in my neighborhood, I've raided the dumpsters for scrap wood and have a nice stash of plywood and 2x4's as well as some left overs from a few projects I've done. I've built a couple hanging shelves in my garage and a tall 4 shelf.. uh, shelf. I've build a couple dog houses for my dad (currently sitting in his garage not being used) and a work bench. I like my work bench. It's probably the best thing I've built. Pretty solid stuff!. I also decided to build a DVD case for our living room. It was a good idea, I just drew up the plans from scratch and made it. Problem is, I didn't know about planning and jointing and so the cabinet is lopsided and the doors don't close right or fit.

I've found a podcast by The Wood Whisperer (cheesy name, but it's really entertaining and full of useful techniques and ideas). I've decided the next tool I'm going to need is a planner or jointer, or both in order to do anything else. I need to have square, parallel boards to work with. I'm saving up and hope to have the tools purchases so I can build a new DVD case before Maya gets mobile.

Programming.

I'm a computer geek, sure. It's been a while since I've done anything with programming, but it's been digging in me to know how to do stuff. I've taken some high level programming classes and have experience doing that. I've just been away from it for a few years and I've just felt like I've needed to know how to do this stuff, even if I'd never really use it. What's the draw for me? I'm not really positive. There's the problem solving aspect, the sit down and figure this thing out feeling. Also, like woodworking, its an escape and excuse to be anti-social. I'm an odd mix of personality. When the overriding personality is boiled away, I just prefer to be alone and avoid people. In response to my desire to know and learn another programming language I signed up to take a couple PHP/MySQL classes this summer. This is used primarily on the web. Either Java or PHP is used to create widgets and compile websites, along with CSS, which I will try to tackle next.

I just want to be my own guy. I'm tired working because I have to. I want to work because I want to. Now, let me be clear. I love where I work. That isn't to say that I wouldn't prefer to not have to go there everyday. I think it hasn't been good that I haven't talked much about what I really enjoy. It's my fault really. Being that I'm antisocial, I don't talk or share much. I haven't shared my passions and happiness with others so there is no one to push me to 'go for it' or to give it a shot. This is only the first step in getting this taken care of, but I have to start somewhere, yeah.

Durango 2008

2008-05-14T09:28:00.004-07:00

We went to Durango, CO this last weekend for a soccer tournament. I'm a referee and that was my duty there. Jenni and I went last year and it was really nice. I wanted to go again this year, but we were a little hesitant because of our new baby. After Jenni talked with a few people who have had experience with the little ones, we decided we would go again this year. Part of the greatness of going out there is that the tournament provides a place to stay for the traveling refs. Since we had a little baby, they got us a condo at Tamarron Lodge just outside Durango. There are a good amount of picture from our balcony at the condo below.

Well, since we were there for soccer, let me tell you about a team from Durango. These boys were playing in the U19 division. Big boys, not the most skill though, so it was a physical game. 8AM game, Sunday morning. I'm on the line and the play progresses down field to the corner flag where I'm standing. The player for Durango decides now is a good time to throw his elbow up at the other team's attacker's face. A sickening crack, smash noise hit my ears and I just stood there stunned for about 4 seconds not realizing that this took place no more than 4 feet from me, as I'm looking straight at the players! Hello! :: 1. you just don't throw your elbows at peoples faces. 2. if you do, you don't do it right in front of the referee! :: Needles to day, he was ejected and the team played with only 10 players the rest of the game. Amazingly though, the team scored 3 points when they were short players and ended up winning the game. That moved them along to the final game at 3:30 that day. I also had the 3:30 final as an assistant referee again. The player that was ejected from the AM game wasn't allowed to play this game, but they team was able to play with all 11 players though.

Final game started, and it again was a very physical game. Believe it or not, the Durango team again, had a player ejected. This time it was for a 2nd caution (or yellow card), but still, something is wrong there. But, just as the first game that day, they were playing short a player now and again they won the game 2-1. After the game, I asked the coach if it was his strategy to get a player ejected each game so they will play short and win. I was thinking, it would be a lot easier if they just voluntarily played with only 10 players if that was the strategy. Yeah, it was a weird couple games there.

I had a great time there this year. Jenni had the best Mexican food since we've moved to Colorado (July 2006). Maya was a cute little "buddle" and I would like to go again next year. (I think a couple friends should come with us though, it would be more fun for Jenni during the day)

I have a manatee sized mouth? What?

2008-05-01T06:12:00.007-07:00

I was so happy to go to the orthodontist yesterday (Pine Top Orthodontics) (great office by the way, I would 100% recommend them to my friends and family). Last time I was there was back in the beginning of March and as expected my teeth have shifted over the past month and a half. With the shift, as anyone who's had braces can remember, comes the extra wire poking through the back brackets finding a home in your cheek. My teeth moved like a bandit and for the past 2 weeks I was in an annoying pain because I was constantly being stabbed. Yes, I could have gone into the office and they would have clipped the wires for me, but we just had a new baby and I just wanted to be home with her.

So, yeah, I was happy to go because I knew they would snip the excess wire off although I knew there would also be some sort of pain to go along with the visit too. I've had some teeth pulled out, so I know mouth pain and I knew they wouldn't pull anymore out so they pain I would experience at the visit, or shortly after, would not be as bad as I've felt (so I thought).

After a few snip, snips to get the wires shorter, a decision was made to put some rubber chain over my front teeth, incisor to incisor on top. This chain is really small and stretches over my brackets on the teeth and pulls with the force of a small circus midget. Ouch. Oh, but wait! Lets add some rubber bands now too! So instead of just one small circus midget pulling on my teeth, I have now 1 small circus midget and 2 somewhat larger (but still midget-like) circus midgets pulling on my jaw (I like to call it by the scientific name, mandibulous bottom-teethikus).

The only positive to this story is the bag of rubber bands the office gave me. It has a picture of a manatee! What! I asked what that's all about and she said it was the size. Yeah, recon I have a manatee sized mouth is what they are trying to tell me. Or maybe my mouth looks like a manatee. Either way, how weird! But as cute as it is, I still have to wear these bammer jammers all day long forever. I can't open my mouth. At least my face isn't swollen like it was when I first got my wires put on last year. That was pretty bad. However, I was in so much pain this morning I had to take a vicodine because the Tylenol did not work for me last night.

Oh, and on a side note...

OMG! WTF? Snow! Blizzard?

It's May 1st!

It was 64 degrees last night at 9pm still!

Happy World Malaria Day!

2008-04-25T10:57:00.002-07:00

It's World Malaria Day! Not really a celebration, but rather an 'awareness' day I suppose. I have a new little baby. She's cute. I call her "little bubbles" and "my bundle" as well as Maya. It's so odd and awesome all at the same time. I can't wait until she is old enough to have cognitive reasoning. That way, I won't feel very bad about letter her cry in her bed until she falls asleep. Right now, she doesn't know any different so I feel obligated to pick her up and hold her until she falls back to sleep, set her back down in her bed, then she wakes up again because I wasn't holding her! ARG!

She's really little, so the newborn we have for her are still pretty huge. Sometimes she makes a faces and closes one eye and leaves the other open. That's when I call her my little pirate. Haha, I dunno what to write. I'm tired, I'm happy, I'm annoyed, I'm content. She doesn't know better, but does she?

So much to learn, so much to experience. So much to be happy for!

Busy work

2008-04-11T12:14:00.003-07:00

Friday wasn't busy in the morning here at work. So that means, busy work time! I was one of 6 people 'selected' to go down to the mail room and help out. I stuffed large envelopes, stacked papers, got paper cuts, bashed my face in, and shocked my ear.

Here we have a giant mail cart full of 9x12 padded envelops that I, along with another worker, stamped the return address, the 'media mail' stamp, affixed the mailing label and stuffed it with a book and a letter to be sent to all the Advocates. This is only one of perhaps 6 or 7 more carts that will need to be filled.

Here is the giant box of letters. I should have made a better point to see how many letters were actually in the box. It could be figured out with some math. As you can see, the box is taller than the paper standing on end - let's estimate 12 ". A piece of paper is approx. 0.0036" thick and with the magic of a calculator that comes to just about 3300 papers per box.

This is the mini-box we had to put the papers in. But we didn't just take the papers out of the big box and transfer them to these smaller boxes. That would be ridiculous. We had to sort them into stacks of five and then stagger them in the mini-box. Mind numbing, but easy. I just sat there with my stack of papers counting all sorts of fast and I filled up three of these mini-boxes in the time it took my friend to fill up two! How awesome am I? Quite awesome, quite.

Oh noes! What is that under my eye? It looks small in the picture, but trust me - my face got smashed off and it looks like, uh, I was beat with a baseball bat (it's possible that I'm exaggerating, but unlikely). I was pulling a big stack of the papers to 'sort' out of the big box. The previous stack came out a bit rough, so I pulled a bit harder on this batch. Of course when we do that, the papers decide to come out nice and fast and the momentum smacked me in the face with the corner of the paper stack. It hurt like ouch! What else hurts, or was more annoying than hurt, was being shocked in my ear! I dunno what it is - but when I wear my fleece vest and my amazingly awesome Bang & Olufsen headphones - my left ear gets shocked with many tiny little zap-pops! Something about static, but it hurt because my ear is so sensitive and I'm such a little baby-boo-hoo that I had to take off the earphones and stop listening to the ipod. Hmf!

Mountain Climbing

2008-04-10T13:42:00.004-07:00

Welcome to the 2008 Hiking Season for Brett (and maybe Jenni).

As I was scouring the 14ers website, planning my hikes this spring/summer/fall and deciding what mountains to hike this year I became quite annoyed. Most will say all the technology and information we have these days is good (and I would normally agree). I'm going between Google Earth and the website looking at the routes and then the awesome 3D images on Google Earth, I came across Mt. Elbert (the tallest of the 14ers in Colorado). With the magic of the internet I was able to notice that Mt. Elbert was right behind us as we camped at the Twin Peaks Campground last summer (Mt. Elbert is the tallest mountain behind the campground in the screen shot) ! And we didn't hike up it! We were looking right at it, and didn't even realize it! Not only is it the tallest, it's actually one of the easiest to summit too! Son of a -------. I'm so annoyed right now.
Anyways, my goal is to summit at least these five 14ers this year

I like straws

2008-04-10T06:58:00.002-07:00

You know something. My sister made fun of me because I have a bundle of straws at my desk. If she only knew I had another stack of plastic goodness at home too, I would be mocked for years to come. Why would she make fun of me? Who doesn't like straws? Well, I guess not too many people have their own year's supply of straws at their desk, and another at their house... but still! If you could, wouldn't you?

Why are straws great?

You don't have to tilt your cup to your mouth avoiding a huge splash of chilled water all over face when you hit a bump in the car. Also good when riding as the passenger and the driver either shifts gears unexpectantly or accelerates too abruptly.
Have you ever tried getting a nice gulp of water only to be staved off by the freaking (yet essential) ice floating at the top of the cup? It's darn near impossible! The ice always seems to align itself just right so it hits your lips right where you would open to let in the flood of water. When this happens you either get just a trickle of water or a mouthful of ice. And then the ice hits your front teeth just right and it causes a shock of cold to run into your brain and then a lightning bolt of cold down your back to your toes. Its a freeze headache and you didn't even get to enjoy the flavor of a Slurpee!
It's happy for your teeth. Well, if you're sipping water, it doesn't make much difference, but if your drinking a coke from Chic-Fil-A (but I don't like the mall Chic-Fil-As, they seem fake and dirty for some reason) (kind of like the Starbucks in Super Target or the grocery stores, they are fake Starbucks, and I avoid them like the plague {the plague was actually found right outside Boulder, CO last week - isn't that nice!} because they don't train their employees correctly) then a straw is essential. This is so because the highly acidic and possibly fructose heavy beverage doesn't rinse over your teeth and coat them over with film, but rather travels straight to the back of your throat for a quick swallow. Assuming the consumer doesn't treat the soda like mouthwash and swish it around his mouth first before swallowing. That of course would negate the positive of using a straw, you dummy!
Endless (until your drink is done) fun. Remember those twisty, roundabout straws that take a full breath just to get the liquid almost to your mouth? Then you had to take a quick breath before the drink swiveled back down the straw into the cup. It was a challenge, a game! I alway won because, well, I'm just that awesome, but I know of a few who were never able to use those straws and it wasn't fun for them because they got beat up. (No, I just made that up, sorry)

I'm not one of those fanatic people who can only see the good and hold the position that a straw can do no good. Oh, I'm a realist. Straws can be evil. One example is when you put a straw into a can of soda. The straw is just not cooperative! It will try with everything it has to escape. Perhaps the straw is claustrophobic. Perhaps the straw was locked in the closet for long periods of time when it was younger. Perhaps the straw and the soda are in an argument and the soda is getting personal with it's accusations and the straw is trying to be the better person and rise above the situation (haha, that was a stupid one). Whatever the case may be, I don't approve of the straw trying to escape when I have a can of soda. Also, beer isn't the same through a straw. It's actually pretty tacky too. If I were to ever try that again, I'd grease my hair down and put on a stained wife-beater shirt that is no longer white, but a yellowish tint and go to a dog fight.

E-waste vs The Old Fashioned Waste

2008-04-04T12:24:00.004-07:00

(Electronics vs Poop)

I'm turning into a tree hugger. I'm ready to admit it. Screw you if you want to make fun of me though. I’m not going to freak out about anything. I’m not going to join PETA or move to Manitou Springs, I’m just becoming more informed about all of our waste. Let me just say, forget Global Warming. The topic is too political and controversial. I can find facts and data to support both sides of the argument. Forget it though. That’s not what I’m talking about! I’m talking about what cannot be argued. What can be done about it. What the bathroom smelled like when I walked in shortly after lunch.

I love kids. I have a heart for kids, they make me smile. They are just so fun. I love the kids of the poor world too. They are no different than the kids in the US when it comes down the basics. They want to have fun. They have hopes and dreams. They are innocent and have a trust that hasn’t been tainted by the world yet. They have bright smiles despite their circumstances.

How do these two paragraphs fit together? What could waste and children have in common? The answer is a simple one. The Environment. What is something that cannot be argued as I reference earlier? Waste. We waste and pollute our world on a grand scale. That cannot be argued! Cut back on what you use. Do you really need to grab 2 feet of paper towels in the bathroom to dry your hands? What is so hard about turning off the lights when you leave the room?

It’s not enough to just recycle now, apparently. As you may know it is illegal to dispose of most electronics into our landfills because of the toxicity of the components (lead, e.g.). We’re encouraged, now, to recycle our e-waste. Great! We’re recycling! Or are we? Did you know that the US is basically the only developed country that hasn’t signed the world-wide treaty banning the deportation of toxic substances and waste to developing worlds? What does that mean Brett? Well, to tell you something that was shocking to me even, most of our e-waste isn’t recycled here in the US. It’s sold to a broker, who boxes it up in shipping crates and boats it over to Asia and Africa. Once there, works manually toil to remove the metals from the circuit boards and cases. Fires are prevalent bubbling up toxic clouds of burning plastic and ash. The refuse is then dumped into the water supply causing the water to be undrinkable. In this one village alone in Asia 80% of the children have critical levels of lead poisoning! THEY ACTUALLY HAVE IT! Remember back around Christmas when a few toys got inspected to have high levels of lead and how much we freaked out about that! No children ware actually harmed here, but we sure raised a stink!

How do we answer the mothers and fathers in these villages whose children are sick and dying because of our ignorance and waste? It’s their kids working along side of the parents in these black-carbon, sludge puddles? Guess what, though. The plastics that these factories use to make our cheap-ass Dora toys are scavenged from these villages where this e-waste is ‘collected’. Its melted down with all the circuitry and the toxic flame resistant sprays the manufacturers spray on. We, ignorantly, give China our used computers and they kill their local eco-systems and breath toxic air as everything is being ‘recycled’. In turn, like I said, the ‘recycled’ lead-heavy plastic is sold to factories to make our kid’s toys! It’s all about ignorance though.

I never knew how much evil and black was behind the green and positive connotation of “recycling.” Check out http://www.ban.org (that is where these photos came from) to find out more about the “Digital Dump”. And on a good note, there are recyclers here in the US that do keep their operations local and following all the US labor and environmental standards to do a good, clean job of recycling! The key is to ask the recycler where their stuff goes once they receive it!

Now about the human waste...

OMG! Carl, what is wrong with you dude? Everyday you make the restroom uninhabitable with your toxic butt. I know everyone can usually stand their own smell, but I cannot imagine you are able to sit in the stall very long at all. You do this every day though, sometimes twice! Have you not wondered to yourself, “I wonder if this is normal.” or “Why does my butt explode and wreak up a storm every day?” SERIOUSLY, you gotta lose that bro! There isn’t anything good about that. Why don’t you go down to the 3rd floor and their bathroom? No one is ever on that floor and the lights are usually always off in the bathroom (we have timer lights, so if no motion detected after so long, the lights go out). Perhaps if you alter your eating habits, you won’t endanger the life of any life-form that enters the room after you. It’s so bad that I don’t need to wash my hands after I go to the bathroom because I don’t think any virus or bacteria could survive in that atmosphere! You make Satan jealous with that smell! Military scientists should bottle that and chemically recreate that as a new crowd control weapon! Unleash a vile of that stuff in a rioting crowd and you’ll have everyone incapacitated in now time. You really should be written up, because those actions are not appropriate for a profession workplace.

Product placement in TV shows

2008-04-03T06:22:00.004-07:00

I understand TV companies make money by selling advertisements. I'm not asking them to stop. I'm not even asking them to stop marketing products during shows (although it is ridiculous sometimes). I'm just asking that they stop being petty and overdoing things.

We've all seen Extreme Home Makeover, right? On the surface the show is about helping deserving families and giving them a leg up in the world. Great! I love it. I think that's why most people love the show. Of course, it's not about helping people at all. It's about ABC's stock price climb and the executives more money. How do they do this though? There are only so many minutes of commercial time they could allow and still be considered a legitimate show. Let's make companies pay us to show people we're using their products. Kind of sketchy I'd say. These are professional builders and skilled workers. They've probably tested many products and decided they like one over an other, so they use it. But now, Mr. Big Company comes and says use our inferior product and we'll pay you money if you act like you like it. So now, 1/2 the show, the camera is zoomed in on a company logo. The rest of the time, they are busy blurring out and blocking logos of the companies that won't pay ABC. That is what I think is ridiculous more than anything. If a guy wants to wear a North Face jacket because he likes how warm it is and comfortable - why the crap would you blur out the logo? You aren't zooming in on the logo. It just happens to be there on his chest. It actually draws more attention to the logo than if it wasn't blurred because you see a floating blurry cloud in the camera view and you are drawn to the blur to see what's going on. Same idea behind putting a big black piece of square tap on the back of the Mac computers. It just is annoying when they go to extra work to be sure logos aren't displayed rather than focusing more on how to promote the logos of the companies that are actually paying them more and better.

Biggest Loser is guilty of this as well. They don't just blur any and everything, they put a freaking commercial in the middle of the show. OMG, it's crazy ridiculous when a show does that.

"Oh, la la la, here I am in the kitchen because I'm really wishing I could have some steamed veggies because I'm trying to lose weight. If only I didn't have to fill up a pot with water and put some veggies in a basket and wait for them to cook. Oh, look, there is my trainer - oddly enough inside the house and walking into the kitchen towards me. Well, hello Trainer Bob, I didn't know you lived in this house with us"
"Well I actually don't, but the execs said the show only had enough content for a 1 hour show, so they sent me in here to fill in some time. You see, Mr Guy, NBC is really struggling to make money. To fix that, they decided to make this show that should only be an hour into two hours. And since we cut to commercial way too often already, the suits thought we could add some commercials into the actual show to make it look like we weren't 50% commercials."
"Well, what Trainer Bob, I was wanting some steamed veggies, but I'm still too lazy to cook them - do you happen to know a way I can microwave some vegetables and they will still be full of flavor, vitamins and cooked to perfection?"
"Funny you should ask Mr Guy, I happen to have right here a box of Ziploc Microwave Steamer Bags....."

blah blah blah!

It's overkill that they go to all that length to promote a product, then blur out 1/2 of the cupboard when it's opened! What can I do about it? Nothing but shake my head and say, 'such is the way it is'. And, I know the video clip has nothing to do with product placement - but it's darn right funny!

Fat kids and Soda

2008-04-02T07:55:00.007-07:00

Reference : Soda in schools ban passes state House, is closer to becoming law

I heard on the radio this morning driving into work about how Colorado legislature pasted a law banning the sale of coke in schools because kids are fat. They propose to sell only milk, 100% juice, low-calorie sports drinks and bottled water instead. That just sucks! As a not fat person, this upsets me. I wasn't fat in school either and I like to have a coke here and there. Here it goes, the stupid, irresponsible, lazy minority (actually, i think there might be more fat kids than not fat kids now though) (oh, and if they are actually the minority still, it's only in head count, because their fat - so they have the majority of the weight) ruining things for everyone! Can they still bring their own coke from outside? Probably not, because some schmo is going to bring vodka or rum mixed with it, therefore, limiting the option for us normal, not fat kids. Why not, instead, have a scanner installed on the vending machine and if your BMI is too high, no coke for you. Or why not give the fatties more recess, but make them play and run around rather than play Magic the Gathering? (If these kids don't lose that weight when they are in elementary school when they get recess, they will have plenty of time to play Magic when they are older. Probably end up watching Battlestar Galatica and reading JRR Tolkien books too.)

In The Know: Should We Be Shaming Obese Children More?

What happened to personal responsibility? Parenting? Bullies? Is it my fault, do I need to be punished by not being able to have my coke because some fatty doesn't know how to get off his butt and stop playing Halo and go play outside? What about the parents? Do you think its possible to file a class-action law suit against all the parents of the fat asses in the schools for denying me my Constitutional rights to experience The Coke Side of Life. Or to opportunity to collect points for free music downloads from Amazon.com! Bastards! What about the bullies? Where are they? They used to do such a good job at making sure the fat kids didn't stay fat for long. Of course, they didn't stop once the kid lost weight - but rather encouraged the kid to sink deeper into that previous mentioned world of JRR Tolkien and Dungeons & Dragons. Of course the child is more than welcome to get into the Harry Potter series if he wants. And the beverage companies could care less! They will stock these machines full of water - coke minus the syrup and carbonation. Same price, less ingredients = more profit! They may not sell as much, but this will only make the kids want coke even more and there will be an increase of soda sales from the convenience stores and supermarkets for the after-school binge.

Soccer Days

2008-04-01T08:59:00.004-07:00

Well, this week is certainly packed with work and soccer. I hope my legs don't fall off. I don't really think they will though. Let's see 8 game in 6 days! Plus my normal job. Well, my normal job doesn't require me to do anything but sit on my bum all day, so it isn't really tiring.

Saturday, March 29, 2008
Commerce City, CO - Dicks Sporting Goods Park
Colorado Rapids vs LA Galaxy Season Opener Game

This was a blast! I've not been to a MLS game before and I really wanted to go last summer. The Rapids got a new stadium last year and this isn't any American football stadium converted to a soccer field. This is specific to the Rapids and built for soccer. It's great and it's the best stadium in the country. And that isn't just an opinion by me. It's really is the best. There are also 24 fields with lights for youth tournaments and adult amateur games throughout the year. I refereed up there last fall for a couple games. The fields are great! Anyways, the game!
The big deal was that David Beckham was supposed to be there because he's too injured to play Premiership soccer now. He was signed to the LA Galaxy last year. I was not really excited one way or another about him being there, but he certainly drew a crowd. Although he played like crap and deserved a yellow card in my opinion, the stands lit up with camera flashes whenever he took a free kick. I felt obliged to do the same at least once. Anyways the score turned out to be a disappointing 4-0. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled the Rapids won, but a 4-0 soccer game kind of sucks. The Rapids didn't play the best and won by that much, so you can imagine how horrible the Galaxy played then. All in all, it was a great time, I can't wait to go back and go to another game. We did a little tail-gate grilling before the game. There were about 11 of us that rode together and we ate some foods that I cooked on our awesomely convenient travel grill. It was really windy and the wind blew out the flame on the side I was cooking the brats and I wasn't aware until I pondered why they weren't cooked yet. Then, not everyone gave me their orders for what kind of burger (cheese or no cheese) so I cooked all burgers with cheese first and poor Amy was w/out food for a while. Sorry! I'm really glad we cooked out like that first. The drive wasn't really too far, but still a bit of a trek from Colorado Springs. So being able to spend a good amount of time, relaxing and having fun while we were there was a great idea and I plan on doing this again next time I go up. That is my story for Saturday.

Monday, March 31, 2008
Colorado Springs, CO - St. Mary's Grace Field
St. Marys vs Holy Family High School Varsity followed by JV game

Phew, this was a cold day of soccer and as it looks, today isn't looking much better. It's snowing right now. God's playing an April Fools joke on us here. Anyways, last night's games were interesting. It was chilly and windy all night. That never changed. However, the Varsity game started without any problems, it actually went the whole game well played by both teams. The wind was a major factor in the play and St. Mary's (The Pirates, as their school mascot is, oddly named mascot for a Catholic school, would you agree?) ended up wining 1-0. We stayed active, moving around enough to stay decently comfortable. However, the whole time the wind was downslope (coming from the mountains to the west) and there appeared a giant, gray/white cloud of doom over the pass headed right at us! Brrrr, it brought rain/snow to the game. However, since the wind was blowing so strong, the system blew past us and it only lasted a little bit. Then it was sunny and bright. Still cold and windy though.

When the 2nd game was up, it was 6pm and it was JV. There are only 2 of us on JV games and the wind certainly picked up more. No running during this game since it was quite 1 sided mixed with low skill. But what's that? Over the pass comes another cloud of doom! Ohhhh, not again, I'm not moving and I'm already freezing. The cloud keeps getting closer. Half time comes and I'm hopeful because high school games have a mercy rule to end the game early. The score was 0-7 at half. When the 2nd half started, they visiting team scored 2 more making the score 0-9. 1 more point and we can all go home and not be cold. One weird thing was that once the team scored the 9th point, the cloud seemed to know that we would be leaving soon, so it gave up on trying to kill us. Slowly (and I say slowly because once they scored the 9th point, it took them 15 minutes to score the final point) the cloud crept back from whence it came. It's like someone turned on a giant vaccuum and sucked the cloud back over the pass, but somehow kept the wind blowing like crazy on us. I tell you, that was the longest 15 minutres waiting for that 10th goal. The other ref and I were cringing at every wide shot on goal and missed corner kick. Finally they connected and we got to leave. Everyone was happy, even the St Mary's team who got spanked. I guess they wanted to go home too.

Today I have a game down south at Harrison HS. It's varsity, so hopefully I'll be moving around a little bit more than last nights JV game, but Harrison isn't known to have a good team. Oh! Perhaps it will go 10-0 really quick and I'll go home and watch American Idol!

What a crappy start

2008-03-28T07:44:00.005-07:00

"Good morning, thank you for calling C. This is Br-, how may I help you?"

What a lie! It's not a good morning today! Remembering back to my chemistry knowledge, mixed with a little creativity, I'm going to call my Br- today (that's Br for Bromide and the - for the negative charge I have today)

What is the big deal? Not really any of this would be a big deal, but my alarm didn't go off again (because i forgot to set it), it was cold/rainy this morning and my big ice/schmudge patch formed on my windshield, and Starbucks barista sucked it up today! That's all I know right now, who knows what else will come up that I can cry about by the time I'm done writing this.

1) My alarm didn't go off. I think this problem really is a pattern or some sort of phase that we go through. Just as the economy is cyclical, climate is cyclical, our orbit around the sun is cyclical, when you draw a circle on a paper it's cyclical - so is my habit of setting my alarm. This is the 3rd time this week I didn't wake up on time! I've gone for a seemingly endless eternity of months with setting my alarm and waking up on time, or not setting my alarm, but still waking up at the same time w/out it. Why would I space off 2 times this week and not set my alarm? The other time, well - I was just straight out! Jenni wakes up somedays before me and showers. When I hear the hair dryer, that's my cue to get up, my alarm clock if you will. Well I slept through my "alarm" going off that day. I blame Jenni for not waking me up though. Gosh! If I had an alarm like the above picture, then I wouldn't have any problem sleeping in, ever!

2) What is the freaking deal with windshield wipers! They either work just fine or they don't. Haha, obviously. That's like saying I either had toast for breakfast or I didn't. The beauty of options (and I didn't have toast). But what I meant, your wipers work just fine. Good. Sometimes though, just sometimes your wipers don't work correctly. It doesn't matter where you live, what you drive, or how many wiper blades you have, if they don't work it is always the same place. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR LINE OF SIGHT! What?! Why? How? Seriously, think back the last time your wipers didn't work and it created a nice schmudge or just decided to skip an entire area of windshield. Wasn't it right where you look out your window? It's stupid! I have to bend over and contort my body like a circus freak to see out my windshield. So crazy how that happens. Bad.

3) This is the worst! What is so hard about making creamy, sweet, steamed milk? I've done it. I've worked at a number of coffee shops (including the Starbucks, so has Jenni) and it really isn't hard to make a good batch of steamed milk. I there this morning (I know I was running late, shut up. But it's Friday treat day!) and it was slow, amazingly. I was the only customer actively or recently ordering. There was another customer sitting at the counter talking to one the girl on bar. I've seen him there before, he's obviously a regular because they were talking it up.... and I've seen him there before....right. So, I bring in my own cup (Yah....tree hugger) and order my $3.54 drink (only $26 bucks left on our card). Let's see, they call it a "Personal Grande 2-pump Skinny Hazelnut Latte". Whatever. It's my hot drink! So with it not being busy and me paying $3.50 for my drink, i want fresh milk steamed (my coffee snob doesn't just apply to brewed coffee, see past post). I watch her pull the shots and dump them into the tumbler, then she splashes some left over milk into the mix. Oops, not enough (warm) milk to fill the cup so she starts steaming a new batch. As she's blabbering away, I catch her attention and ask for all fresh milk please. She rebuts me with "I just steamed this a few minutes ago." WTF is that that! I wanted to blurt out, "Are you serious! That's exactly why I want fresh milk." It's warm and flat. But I sheepishly smile with a scrunch of my nose (see adjoining picture). I think I actually caught a roll of the eyes as she turns around with the 1/2 full tumbler to go to the sink to dump it out and rinse it out. As she's over there, the current pitcher stops steaming and sits there for about 10 seconds. Well, here is problem 2 and 3 now. The milk she's going to use wasn't properly steamed since she left it auto-steaming on the shelf of the machine while she walked away (flat) and then as if it wasn't flat enough, it sat there for a good 10 seconds or more after it was done steaming (flatter) (and milk gets sucked up into the wand and dries and clogs the wand and rots, separate problem and gross). Needless to say, my drink was made with some flat, bland milk. However, it was fresh and hot though! That's good, right?

A Nutmeggy Weekend

2008-03-24T11:01:00.001-07:00

First of all, awesome not having to work last Friday. Unfortunately there really is not theme to follow along this last weekend other than, 'ODD'.

Friday
I didn't have to go to work because we were closed for Good Friday! That was a nice bonus because I knew it was coming up but it wasn't until Thursday that it actually hit me that I was going to be off Friday! That was nice. I spent the morning relaxing at home and met up with Jenni with my cousin and her husband at Starbucks for chill time and we played a game. Time came around and I had to leave because I was to be at a soccer game at 4pm. I got the address from the internet and headed across town. Problem with that is that the address was incorrect. Instead of a middle school I ended up at a mechanic's shop! Perhaps the address changed, so I drove all around the area looking for this place. Nothing! Rush hour traffic! I was not happy when I went home. Ate at Burger City later that day, that was good! Except for their fries still are gross.

Saturday
Soccer. Snow. Wind. Wet. Cold. Separate, those 4 aren't really good or bad, but when they all happen at the same time, the answer is BAD! I'm a referee. I wear shorts. We get long sleeve shirts to wear at least, but it's still cold when it's snowing and windy on my bear legs! The games pretty much weren't great. First game was a high school girls varsity match between a small, private school in the Springs vs a small public school in Trinidad, CO! The Trinidad team only had 11 girls make the trip and the home team had about 22 girls. As one sided as it should have been, it wasn't and that made the game, still boring, drag on for the whole 80 minutes. The 2nd game was a bit more exciting, but not very skilled. U17 Boys Challenge (16 yr old boys who are JV skill) on the turf field with snow and wet. Hazardous, especially with the speed and weight these boys throw around.

Funny saying from that game. Attacker for white team challenged the ball as the keeper for black comes out to clear the ball away. As is allowed, the keeper makes a dive for the ball clearing it away, but in the same dive ended up taking out the attacker. Attacker decided he didn't like that and protested and I just shook my head at him and said "that's what happens when you challenge a keeper". He didn't like that and chased down the black defender who was trying to clear the ball to the other side of the field. White player used a nice shoulder push after defended kicked the ball away and he ended up falling over with help from the white attacker. Oops, that was pretty unsporting of him, so i show him a yellow card. Cry, cry, wahhhhhhh. Shut up, dude! Anyways, the funny part comes next as he runs over to the lead A/R and asked what he saw and the A/R told him and then the attacker says, "well did you see what the keeper did? that's why i retaliated!" The A/R said a smirk came over his face at that point and then the player actually realized what he just said and went on his way. Haha.

2nd Funny saying comes in the 3rd game of the day. U14 Girls Premier. These girls are young, but they know what they are doing. They have skill. The parents, however, were a whole other story. I was the A/R for this game and had to stand in front of the parents. I just laughed to myself most of the game with their comments, but there was one time I LOL'd. I would have ROFL'd, but the ground was cold and wet, and there was a game still going on. So I settled for a little bit of LOL and perhaps a brief LMAO. What was the big deal? There's a parent who freaked out yelling when the keeper (other team of course) was booting the ball but the dad though she was over the line for the penalty area. She stepped over apparently. It doesn't really matter where she stepped, as long as she wasn't holding the ball in her hand when the ball passed over the line. Which, according to the other two refs was certainly not the case. Anyways, the keeper, to the amazement of this dad encroached on his rules once again and 'stepped over the line' a 2nd time. The funniest thing the dad yelled at that point was "Come on! Seriously! She stepped over the line again! Where is our penalty kick!" Haha, what a dolt. A penalty kick is for fouls committed by the defending team inside the penalty area. Obviously, the keeper is allowed to handle the ball inside the penalty area, so that can't be a foul. IF, and I say IF just for sake of argument that Dad of the Year was correct that the keeper handled the ball OUTSIDE the penalty area (although he kept insisting she stepped over the line) how does that constitute a penalty kick? The foul, handling, would have been OUTSIDE the penalty area. Uhg, what a dolt he was. I did actually laugh out loud at that one.

Sunday
Easter. Nice day in theory. But it wasn't bright and sunny like Easter is supposed to be. Day was odd. Then at church they still had the screens for the words of the songs on the complete opposite side of the auditorium. Really stupid idea. Then we sang a song that they sang at my mom's funeral, and I lost it. First line of the 1st verse wasn't even done and I had to sit down. I can't do that song! I'm fine with everything. She's gone. Love her, but she's gone. I can deal with talking about her. I can be fine with her not being here for Christmas, birthday, Easter... but that song. Cannot do! Last time they sang that song at church same thing happened, but it wasn't quite as abrupt. That sucked. Then there's a whole other post that could be made about our new pastor and the changes he's making here at church - but I don't wanna ramble too much. We did work in the nursery again for the 10Am service. Some really fun kids in there. Then Jenni talked with her mom when we got home. It's really hard for Jenni because she's put in a bad situation and she just loves her family so much and she feels so sad a lot because of her family. She just wants to be near her family, to see them and interact with them. It just wasn't a good phone call and it seems to end that way often after one of the calls. Bad day. Crying, sadness and disapointment. We just want our baby to have a grandma and my mom is gone now, and she will never know her and Jenni's mom is tied down in California and not able to spend much time at all with her either. What are we do to?

Writing this just rehaunts my mind with yesterday.

And I'm sick of writing now. Noelle made a desert and put a "T" rather than a "t" of nutmeg in the mix and it was funny. There. I'm done. Dangit!

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People don't listen

2008-03-20T08:26:00.004-07:00

Of course, it's a given that I do listen to everything always so I have authority to complain.

I'm not really complaining like I'm upset or anything. This is more of a, "Oh, you people are silly {sigh}," kind of complaining. Sometimes, however, I do get annoyed with some of the people because after a full day of the same thing it can wear on me. Words of Brett is blue. (I'm like the Bible!)

Beginning of the call problems

"Thank you for calling C. This is Brett, how may I help you?" I know phones aren't the greatest and I have no problem with someone calling me Brad or Brent (although Brad is a bit more of a stretch than Brent) - but it is the 'Greg' that makes me pause and be like, "Say what?"
"Ok, I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson (ooooooo), but before I can get to that part of your account, I'll need you to verify your mailing address for me please." {silence} "...go ahead, please." "Oh, 123 Riley St." {silence} Sometimes after the long pause if I throw in a "OK" with a 'carry-on' inflection I'll get the remainder of the address, but mostly I have to ask specifically for the rest of the mailing address, not just the street address.
"Thank you, lastly I'll need you to verify the email address and phone number we have on file for you, please" "852-555-1212 and I didn't think I gave you an email address." Most of the time I simply just correct them and say that we show one @yahoo and they finish with the first part of the email address. Once I actually said, "Well you did that's why I asked you to verify the email address we have on file."
It's really funny too when they try to offer me something that isn't close to what I asked for. We have my standard greeting and they proceed to tell me why they call. That is good. I need to identify what I need to do for them. "Ok, well let me get this taken care of for you. May I have your name." "Do you want my sponsor number?" Let's see - I don't even think the World Champion at Jumble would be able to rearrange that sentence to include the words 'sponsor' or 'number'. The words don't rhyme with each other nor do the syllables get close to adding up as similar either. "Actually I am needing your name right now."

Middle of the call problems

Someone called in to update the expiration date on their card they have set up for automatic payments. "OK, let me pull up that file to update for you. Alright, here it is. John, just for security, I'm going to need to to verify the card number we're going to update for me real quick." "4 {pause} 5 {pause}....." Thanks, but what part of 'real quick' sounds like slower than molasses! I'm not typing in the card, remember? I just asked your verify it. That implied we already have it. Obviously. We are charging your account each month are we not? Besides, even if you were giving me the whole number because I needed to type it in all over, I don't need you to read it to me like I'm in 2nd grade. I know how to use my keypad. Shoot! I took a 1/2 semester in college focused specifically on the 10-key calculator!
Another funny thing is when someone calls and is mad at me because they didn't give us the new expiration date on their credit card and we ended up having to take the commitment off their account because it had been more than 6 months w/out them paying. Haha, I'm sorry you didn't pay attention to the letter we sent you a month before your card expired to remind you to call us with the new information. I'm also to blame you didn't pay attention that the money wasn't being taken out of your account each month anymore. Finally, I'm very sorry you ignored the statements you started received each month for the past 5 months letting you know we haven't received a payment in months. Sorry, what was I thinking not calling you about this as well. Oh, wait. No, we did call you twice. Once when you were 3 months behind and once a week before your child was to be taken off your account.

End of the call

Not too much happens here other than the normal stumbling over each other's words, each of us trying to get in the final 'thank you'. But more than anything, I'm just trying to get in my scripted closing that I have to say or else I get docked. Please people, just let me say what I need to say, and don't keep interrupting me with "you too"s and "my pleasure"s and "thank you"s. Stop talking and let me finish. It would go so much easier.

So to wrap it all up, if you ever need to call a phone center person, don't offer anything extra than what is asked for. Don't assume they want to hear you go on about how your dog got sick and you had to take them to the vet and run up this huge bill and that's why you aren't able to pay for your HUMAN BEING sponsorship that month. Just listen to what they ask for and the call will go so much quicker!

Partly violated

2008-03-17T08:50:00.000-07:00

Friday, I came into work and everything was going well. I stopped at Starbucks on my way into work. I had my regular (they changed the name and calling of the drink - so I don't know if this is standard) personal, grande, 2-pump hazelnut, skinny latte and a pumpkin scone. I had my coffee already so there was no need for me to have to make any at work.

I get tried some days because I either decide to not sleep enough the night before or it's just one of those days where I need a pick-me-up. Sometimes I'll go for a coke (also known by some as soda or pop - I prefer 'coke'. That's how it was when I grew up! Back off!), but the sugar and carbonation isn't something I always enjoy soaking in my mouth and stomach. The free coffee they provide here is manufactured by Satan, LTD. What it is is liquid coffee concentrate that mixes with hot water on demand. There, you can tell, lies my problem. I cannot afford Starbucks everyday nor do I want to drink coke or go near that witches brew. Solution :: Bring in my own coffee pot. I have a personal coffee maker and carafe I brought in and left at my desk. I just had to get up and fill the carafe with water whenever I wanted a fresh batch. Problem :: Facilities didn't like me to have a coffee maker at my desk (because it overflowed a few times and stained the carpet?) (allegedly).

I was certainly not going to take it home like the note they sent me said to do. I just put it in the break room next to the other coffee pot that someone else brought in. I'm a coffee snob. If I'm going to drink brewed coffee, it has to be made by me in a machine I've cleaned prior to use. It's weird, I know, but it's gross to use a 'dirty' coffee pot! All was well for a couple weeks. Coffee was made when needed. Everything was grood (great & good; thx Strongbad).

Friday, March 14, 2008, back to the beginning of this post. As I mentioned I didn't need to use my coffee pot that day. All was well with my caffeine/blood ratio. When lunch came around , I entered the break room, just as always to get my lunch and dine the 1/2 hour away. Something was wrong though. Something was horribly wrong! The machine was pulled out and the carafe was missing! I checked in the basket and there was warm condensation in there. Was someone playing a prank on me? Someone used the machine and tried to cover up the evidence, but I noticed! I wasn't sure what to think. I felt violated. I felt indifferent. I felt like laughing it off. But there was the haunting feeling floating around me. It's that feeling when someone else uses your toothbrush, but it was after you used it, so you aren't completely repulsed, but still, someone used your toothbrush!

I took a Styrofoam cup and wrote a little lament, "Oh my pour carafe, why did you leave me alone?" (Did you catch that? "pour" carafe? Ha, I'm amazingly awesome) Leaving the cup where the carafe normally goes I went back to my desk for the rest of the day. When my afternoon break came I checked back, but there was no carafe there still. At this point I was feeling a bit frustrated. Did someone steal my carafe!? I started half complaining/half laughing about this to coworkers in hopes they might have an idea who ganked my precious nectar holder! At 3:30 as I was leaving for the day I peeked in and saw the carafe back home. Phew! A sigh of relief. My weekend can be relaxing again.

Today, Monday and I was really upset at the weather mans because they got my hopes up about possibly a snow day or at least a delayed start so I stayed up a bit later than normal reading and doing a Sudoku puzzle. My alarm goes off at 6AM and I reach for my phone to call the weather line for work. "We are currently open for regular business hours." WHAT! I then roll out of bed to peek outside to see how mistaken the weather line might be - but as I survey the neighborhood from my window, I find it looks no different than it did at 10PM last night! Son of a Word! Now I have to rush to get ready for work, and since I didn't go to bed 'on time' I'm gonna need some coffee when I get to work. Phew! At least my coffee machine is in one piece now.

However, just because it was back where it belonged, that did not mean (obviously) that it was clean and ready to be used. Whoever used it last left a slime on the inside of the carafe! Unacceptable! I cleaned it out and made my lil' pot of coffee. I enjoyed it over the next 1/2 or so because my carafe is a thermal airtight one so my coffee stays tasty and hot. When I was done and my morning break came around I went to return the pot to the break room only to find a new coffee pot sharing the counter with mine and the original one. My pot (being dwarfed in the middle by the two giant 12 -14 cup machines) was all pushed to the back and had a look of rejection and shame. My thoughts are whoever used my machine last Friday saw my lament when they returned my machine and felt bad. They then decided that since I have my own machine here, so does someone else, why shouldn't they bring in their own machine too. Haha, pretty soon everyone is going to bring in their own machines and then we will all have to take them home.

Finally, to prevent other chumps from using my machine again, I took the basket that the grounds go in inside the basket and will be keeping it at my desk. Unless they get all sorts of smart and bring in their own paper filters I don't think I'll be sharing my coffee machine with anyone else again. That's why I'm a coffee snob.